What's the going rate on weeping pizza content? Asking for a friend. 🍕💧

0 | 3

Things only Matt Berry can call me during sex: Best Friend, Pal, Homeboy, Rotten Soldier, Sweet Cheese, Good Time Boi

3 | 5

Find someone who loves you as much as shlub loves his weed plant.

1 | 7

Find someone who loves you like Laszlo loves that hat.

My parrot attacked my foot a couple of days ago and ruined my plans for outdoor foot photos in this amazing weather. Feeling a little down about it and now I'm having an ugly foot day. Cheer me up.

Still available! Honestly I'm shocked

🎶 Look at this stuff... from my ears and my feet... I finally think this collection's complete... ear wax and nail clippings from a girl, a girl who sells everythiiiiiing! 🎶🧜‍♀️

Should I paint my toenails today? $10 chooses the color (from what I have available)+ gets a free pic. $25 chooses any color (I'll go buy it) + free pic. Pic is of just feet with toe separators #feet

Should I paint my toenails today? $10 chooses the color (from what I have available)+ gets a free pic. $25 chooses any color (I'll go buy it) + free pic. Pic is of just feet with toe separators

It's been a minute since I've levied a new tax. Should I put another law in the books? Add a new line to the tax code? You know you love it when I do. I'm not sure y'all even deserve it. If we make $25 in tribute today maybe I'll dip a quill in ink.

Classic black butt floss 🍑 just arrived, book your custom wear now: https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/black-thongs-xxl-custom-wears

Custom Thong Wears are heeeere! 2xl thongs for those that appreciate bigger gals or those who might be bigger that want to wear them after. https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/black-thongs-xxl-custom-wears

You know who you are.

Just incase you weren't cucking hard enough for Uncle Sam, I have plenty of other taxes listed in the shop for you to pay. I won't even start wars with them, pinky promise. (Official Tax Season Listing Cumming Soon 🦅🇺🇸🗽))

These boots are still up for grabs. 9 years of love and bare feet in these bad larrys. https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/super-old-well-worn-shearling-boots-size-us-11

Turn your Dick into a Poetic Masterpiece. https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/original-dick-haiku

https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/original-dick-haiku

These were so much fun to wear today I'm not sure I want to sell them now! Should I? Why do you even deserve them?

Look at these dirty toe imprints... https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/wool-insoles-last-winters-insoles-size-11

Pay up, dingdongs. https://www.allthingsworn.com/buy/tiny-dick-tax-6