Incel Tax

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Harpytalons

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Lets get down to brass tax: You're unf*ckable, and it's time to pay the Harpy.

We'll keep this one at $10 because we all know you've been saving up to move out of that basement.

Instead of doing productive stuff with your time you're on here, paying for s*x because nobody wants to touch that with a 10ft pole. Maybe it's all the fedoras you wear? Maybe it's your raging B.O. Maybe it's that thick miasma of misogyny couched in a self pitying cry of "GIRLS ONLY SAY THEY WANT NICE GUYS BUT HERE I AM ALL ALONE". Maybe it's the gaunt-dead-eyed-video-games-and-jackin'-it-for-36-hours-straight look you're failing to rock... I don't know... all I know is, ya' gross.

For every MGTOW blog post you've ever read and nodded in agreement with, pay me.

If your stupid brain ever thought "Andrew Tate is really on to something" PAY. ME.

If you've ever uttered the phrases "Men's Rights" or "Sexual Market Value" pay me, you coward.

For every door you've held open, friend zone you've stayed in, or task you've done because you hoped it would get you laid, pay me.

On behalf of every woman you thought was a wh*re simply because she wasn't sleeping with you, you will pay me.

Every time you've tipped your ugly dandruff covered fedora off your fat f*cking head and said "M'lady", PAY. ME. TWICE.

Did you want something in return for your money? It's far too late and you're far too gone for that sh*t. You could have bought a self help book. Applied for a job. Moved out of your mother's basement. But hey, maybe another fedora might just work this time.

Rules:
Pay up and shut up.
Don't talk to me.
Don't message me.
Just don't.
You Disgust Me.

10.00 USD 100

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About Harpytalons

Just a harpy showing off her talons. I like my toes in the sand, snow, or dirt, connected to the earth and sea. I'm barefoot almost always, which means my feet are perfectly imperfect, i.e. wear and tear, and calluses. Shoes of choice: flipflops or comfy boots, although I can pull off the occasional heel. Foot Size: US 11 Wide

Ok, so I'm mostly into posting feet content, because I have feet, and they're giant, and I think making the content is super fun and I like weirding the neighbors out (making things awkward is LIFE). The rest of this place tho... omg... you guys....

About me: I'm overweight but "on the journey" and 30lbs down so far, but still pretty fluffy. I was 265, and now I'm 230. My bra size is a tight 40DDD, but I still try to cram them into DD bras.

I'm a X-lennial meaning I can remember a time before internets and cell phones. I'm way closer to 40 than 50. I'm told I look 39. Grew up with conservative parents but now my blonde hair is blue (or purple or pink or green or orange) hair and I have tattoos I regret. I unironically love Fall Out Boy and Jim Croce. My eyes are blue and there up here, damn it. Self portrait: 👁👄👁

I'm laid back and friendly. Sometimes funny. I can offer BFF (best friends forever) type experiences, but you'll forever be in the friend zone. I'm a social lover of expensive bourbon/whiskey/scotch, craft beers, and PBR. Matt Berry is my current celebrity crush.

I love my husband but he would be mortified if he found out that I was on here selling my used granny panties and honestly I think that's funny as all hell. I love him and respect *most* of his boundaries though so I will never show my face, I will never make nude content, and I will never talk dirty to you. I'm awkward AF though so honestly that's probably for the best, unless you like long weird pauses then laughing in your face.

I'm into spiritual and psychedelic experiences, nerdy shit, but I work too much to be in-the-know.

If you wanna pay my rent I could learn to be an awkward Findom. I have no experience and it will likely be awkward, but heck, my rent will be paid wont it?

ALLERGY INFO:
My house has pets.
I like to eat things that contain peanuts.
I don't smoke, don't wear perfume, barely wear deodorant
I do burn expensive incense (not that blue box nag champa sh*it...)

Harpytalons currently has 36 items available & joined All Things Worn 3 months ago

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