Science says kittens are the cutest and I always try to find a way to exploit that fact! My actual kitten asking politely if I'm finished with that jug of milk. SCIENCE IS RIGHT!
Enough about the fucking show stealing pretty faced kitten, let's talk about me....
...sighs...
I'm an indescribable reject whose been to the peak and the deepest depths in almost every aspect of human existence and I can't remember any of it, wich is sugar tits I realize when I see old FB postings. Like some gremlin has been at the helm while I draw cave art on car window condensation canvases and count train cars and fence posts.
40s, single, (I just found out), and living in the incomparable beauty of the purple mountains and dank green foliage of Colorado. I sling intoxicating and socially mentionable drinks, jam together delicious plates of food and deliver one liners like they were life-saving medication for elderly sick hypochondriac kids for just shy of a living wage. All with a smile and effort to make a genuine human connection for 5 minutes with folks I'll never see again.
I have a wildly off-beat imagination and I am known for generating ideas and activities never heard of, and usually for good reason, but it keeps me entertained and I'm almost completely harmless. Always up for a chat and I'm a wealth of obscure knowledge if you ever want to know something that know one should ever want to know just ask the Master of Useless Knowledge.
I most enjoy trading ideas and getting to know so many personalities like an obsessive lifelong menagerie on grandma's every shelf. Who are you and what do you have to say for yourself? Don't be shy we're virtually kinky neighbors. The fun and interesting kind not the weird and troublesome kind. Ok, it's both!
I love satin panties! Especially other people's satin panties that are now mine so I feel like I might fit in here a bit. My neighbors and friends will be relieved and have more luck finding their skivvies they swore were in the dryer yesterday. You can't prove a thing but I always admit it and return them if asked. Which only happened once and was a bit awkward and a great life-lesson learning moment. Her and I are the best friends either of us has ever had now years later. Tho her family still laughs about it when I come around. If they only knew.... But they never ask!
I also like having any or all of my senses stimulated in almost every way. I love audio instructions, artful and beautiful videos of amazing humans expressing their experiences and imaginations in arousing ways.
I like putting foreign object in, on, and around my mountainous body is ways never intended or appreciated and then going about my mundane activities like they were always there but suddenly and boldly revealed themselves. Often an unfashionable anti-trend setter.
I like being in control (as if there's such a thing) but I like submitting even more. Almost to a frightening point. I like being sneaky but revel in the light if truth. I'm an old school bad boy who's always looked for ways to improve whatever I involve myself in and help those who I happen to deal with.
Why be coy? I'm the guy you might find rock climbing at dawn on a Tuesday summer morning in a green floral full satin nightgown and aviator goggles, red roses clenched in my teeth and a blue ass plug less clenched in
my cheeks. Smack dab in the middle of the desert. Where no roads go besides the one I just made while watching porn meandering to the beat of cum begging sluts crying for NOT their daddy's big O like it ain't gonna happen either way.
All, just so I can rub one out to the inevitable first rays of the rising gas ball in the east while I shout at it to come back tomorrow because I'm busy being kinky in the shadows.
Of course no one ever sees that shit because they're lucky and I don't have an Instagram account.
Wow! That rambling shit sounds like some weird ginned up incoherent Clockwork Orange - Jim Morrison fetal discharge. Which was overtly weird before I ever drew breath.
Give me a platform and watch how I love the sound of my own typing. Sorry, I'm lonely and disconnected.
Please hold all marriage proposals....
Live well, work hard, be kind, stay humble.... Or don't.
United States
