Dealing With Stress

Seller Tips For Sellers

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What you’re going to read here are just my personal observations and experiences. This isn’t a PubMed article or big scientific research, it’s just ToeDoe thinking out loud.

Everyday life is becoming more and more stressful I believe. I don’t think there is a single person out there that doesn’t have any stress in their life. Truth is, some people just manage it better, or they appear to have “thick skin”. It seems like nothing gets to them and they always keep it cool and are relaxed. That’s not always how it is, they just suppress emotions and eventually they “pop” or unwind in the wrong ways.

I’m not going to go dive in too much into details about how to deal with stress, because I’m pretty sure you already have your own ways, but most common are:

• physical exercise
• eating and drinking healthy (avoiding too much alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, 420 things etc.)
• meditation, deep breathing, aromatherapy…

Everyone knows (hopefully) what works best for them and have their own ways.

However, I would like to add unwinding/ relaxing through sexual desires.

Unwinding Through Sexual Desire

Nobody mentions it, but it’s true! Sex is a very important part of our lives. Not just because it leads to creating mini versions of ourselves. During sexual activity, the human body releases hormones such as oxytocin and vasopressin, which act as bonding hormones between partners. Both men and women release testosterone and estrogen, which regulate the reproductive system and increase sex drive. Adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin are involved in the attraction phase, making us giddy, energetic, and euphoric. During orgasm, the body releases dopamine and oxytocin, which increase feelings of happiness and counteract the stress hormone cortisol. Oxytocin can also make us feel more relaxed and dampen our sense of pain.

Think about bonobos and chimpanzees. Bonobos literally "make love not war" and chimpanzees are behavior wise closer to humans. We could learn a thing or two from bonobos I guess.

So, if I wrap things up, after a stressful day, I imagine that lots of people come here on ATW to have a good time, unwind, relax and fulfill desires. Especially buyers. Sellers too (lots of us genuinely enjoy doing this, however receiving money sure is a big bonus!)

But then slowly, day after a day, you notice that this is becoming less and less fun. Furthermore, it’s becoming stressful. My little safe place that offered escape from everyday crazy life was becoming overwhelming.

For a long time, I thought that it’s just me that feels this way.

After spending more time on dashboard, I realized I couldn’t be more wrong! This is stressful for sellers as well as buyers. Both sides have scammers, there’s timewasters, pushy sellers… I don’t know what’s worse. Opening the app and you see 85 messages from sellers, someone sends you nudes and then demand that you pay for them, because you read the message, or in my case – writing messages to everyone, carefully reading buyers bio and all, trying to take pics that look nice, getting reminded that my body is not what it used to be over and over again…

Breaking Point

We all have our breaking points.

At my darkest hours, I felt like I'm reliving again my childhood experiences, when I was selling fruit on the beach.

We were on our summer holidays at seaside, and I decided to earn some extra pocket money for ice creams, Luna park etc. Grandma gave me homegrown figs and I had a blast! People loved them, everything was sold in less than an hour. Next day was even better. People were happy to see me, greeted me with a smile and promptly bought everything again. It became a ritual. I enjoyed making people happy and on top of that, I even got the money for doing so! But then my grandma said one day: “Leave those last 2 fig trees alone, I'm going to make fig jam. However, you can grab some corn and boil it.” It wasn’t a sweet corn. It was the plain one that’s generally used to feed the animals, but I did it anyway. Very few people bought it. Nobody is going to eat hot boiled corn in the middle of the day, if they can get sweet roasted corn from a nearby stand that deliciously smells a mile away in the evening while watching sunset. I gave up on a second day.

I love it when people want me and are happy to buy my stuff. Being a pesky seller, forcing people to buy something that they clearly don't want was too much for me. I gave away whole batch of cooked corn to a local fisherman in exchange for some pennies that he had rolling around in his pocket. He thanked me a lot, saying he'll use it for a bait. I nodded, smiled and went home. I was little, but not stupid. Nobody uses corn to catch Mediterranean fish! They use meat! Worms, seashells, tiny fish, etc. The fact that he felt sorry for me left a bitter taste and it made me hard to swallow.

Do you remember that video of overly excited saleswoman? Keep it in mind, fast forward to 2023 and imagine me doing exactly the same thing all over ATW. 😂

I felt (occasionally I still do!) just like that. There are beautiful, gorgeous people all around me, and I’m yelling at them “Buy my PaaaaAAaants! SOOOoooOOcks! ViiiiIIIAAAaals!” succeeding only at making a complete fool out of myself.

Stress Buster Strategies

How to escape that feeling? I will try to give you some tips, but it would be awesome if other sellers and buyers contributed too. Let’s put our heads together and list all the things that help us.

1. Sell yourself to yourself. When feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself of what you do well. There are ways to build a healthy self-esteem.
2. Set realistic goals and expectations. It is awesome to have big dreams, but sometimes we need to take baby steps to get there. Tell yourself: my goal for today is messaging 5 people and saying good morning on a dashboard. And that’s it. If you manage to sell something, if buyers buy your g drive, etc. it’s a bonus! Even if absolutely nothing else happens that day, you still finished your goals.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don't look at your stretch marks, extra skin, saggy boobs and cry over lost youth. Just don't. Embrace the diversity! Be yourself, be confident in your body (that's sexy). Remember: there's different strokes for different folks! So no matter how you look like, you are someone's goddess out there.
4. Examine your values and live by them. Your actions should reflect your beliefs and by doing them more frequently, you should automatically start feeling better. Use your values when choosing your activities.
5. Assert yourself It’s OK to say no sometimes. If a certain demand takes too much of your time, energy or if you’re just simply not in the mood, it's ok to say no. Don't force yourself. It's like eating your favorite dessert. You love it, but if someone would force-feed you with it and continued after you'd be fed and started gagging, you'd start to hate it. Be nice to yourself.
6. Take a little break from being active and take pictures or videos for the content.
7. Try new kinks that you think might be fun. Be honest about it and say: “I haven’t done that, but I would like to try”, but don’t force yourself into it.
8. Remember, it’s just a hobby. Not your whole world depends on it.
9. It’s ok to “whine” about it. Tell your friends how you feel, what happened and get it all off your chest.
10. Think about all the good stuff that happened. Find at least 3 nice things for 1 bad experience. Then focus on the positive, don't overthink negative.
11. Pep talk. They need you. They want you. You don't need them. You enjoy them.
12. Distance yourself mentally.

Conclusion

We all have multiple personalities. I'm not talking about mental disorder! I'm speaking about all little parts of ourselves, that act appropriately in different situations and combined together makes us wholesome. Example: There's a "party girl" when going out. Loving mom/dad at home. Hardworking businessman, etc, you see where I'm going. And then there's one person that you usually "unleash" in the bedroom. You named her when creating your account. Let her do her thing. And when you close the app, take a deep breath and say "ToeDoe, you're one awesome bish, you know that. Relax now, and let xxx (your real name) take over”.

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