By LeeTheBoneRanger 745 views
This is second blog I am writing, the first one was more observational as a relative newbie and trying to offer advice where I found it appropriate to. I am now approaching (past, depending when you read this?!) a year here. This one is similar (ish) in I am going to explain how stuff can be lost in translation and the need to do you and unless you are dealing with a particularly difficult buyer / seller it is seldom personal and dealing with others should never stop you being you or stop you remembering why you are here!
I am fairly outspoken, so may have mentioned some of this already on the dash while some members I am close to may have heard bits and pieces. I am an open book but do not go into personal details of my life for the sake of it unless I am asked and / or I feel that it is relevant. As you continue reading it will hopefully make sense as to why I am mentioning this and well done if you can stay to the end of me going round the houses to get there!
From an early age I was diagnosed with dyspraxia which I still live with. This is almost an unknown member of the Autism family, I never use this as an excuse for anything but this coupled with episodes of depression over the last 10-15 years, losing close friends through suicide means that I am not the easiest to talk to and can often appear dismissive. And with nature of my job added to that, fatigued! I am only talking about all of this as I have never taken medication for any of the above, have never self-harmed but with the world being what it is currently, I would be lying if I did not have thoughts of changing that.
This place has played a massive part in keeping me sane and all positive reviews and feedback I get on here, whilst flattering, is ALL down to the sellers I consider friends. Anyone I may not have had communication with but who play it straight, I put up appreciation posts etc. If I've not stopped going on about it, it’s not down to me being a nice guy, it is least you all deserve and it is my small way of giving back and I want you all to know that!
That said, I am obviously not the only one with challenges, and this goes back to you being unapologetically you. You may send a message to a buyer / seller and be met with indifference and what you may perceive as cold, ignorant and / or arrogant (if they reply at all). Of course, these could very well be the traits of the person you have messaged, but it could also be something else. Using me as an example and going back to my autism (again, not excusing anything, but explaining), anyone who knows about autism knows it really is not a one size fits all and there are different extents. You would not necessarily know I am on the spectrum but in my case, an example would be I feel I have been methodical on my bio and posts to the point of nagging. Then someone messages me and they would have done absolutely NOTHING wrong but in my mind, they have completely ignored my bio, they are being entitled and they have got in my personal space, potentially causing anxiety attacks. What happens after that is I fight the urge to lash out for fear of regretting it later, long story short it goes from a simple message from someone to in my head, no one caring about my wellbeing and just being out for themselves. When in reality, most would find it lovely someone has taken time from their life to message and say hi!
None of this is a wish for an Awwwwwww or a cry for help but it is everything to do with reminding you not every single negative experience on here is necessarily a rejection of you. it may be (always with me!) the case that someone else is struggling, they are doing their best and quite often just scared of their support structure being shattered and not knowing how to deal with it!
I am going to stop going on now but for the good, genuine ones out there, never stop being you, whether you are dealing with someone whose morals are far from solid, or whether it is with someone who could be struggling and you just do not know that, always remember you are part of something that helps so many out more than you could ever know.
I wish you all the luck and love equal to the joy you have given me!!
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