Certified C*ck Critic 💋 A+ Poetry For Your 🍆

Step aside, fellas – the Certified c*ck Critic has arrived 💋🍆

Think your d*ck can handle my words? Think again. For just £5, I’ll deliver the filthiest, most brutally honest, and Shakespeare-worthy critique your c*ck has ever received. My tongue is wicked, my vocabulary even worse – and no detail goes unnoticed. I’ll paint you a picture so vivid you’ll either be twitching in bliss or crying into your pants by the time you’re done reading.

No lazy one-liners here, baby. This is raw poetry for your pathetic little pecker or your prize-winning pole – every inch, every vein, every filthy fantasy it inspires, captured in words so obscene you’ll be thanking me (or begging me to stop).

Submit your evidence… and let me ruin you with my pen 😏💦

5.00 GBP 67

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