Pay Your Taxes | Find Your Bracket And Pay Up!

Are you enjoying the view? Lurking on my profile? Existing in my presence? Nothing in this life is free, and your time is officially up.

Consider this your official audit. If you fall into any of the categories below, it’s time to pay up. No excuses, no extensions. Just open your wallet and clear your debt.

💸 Choose Your Tax Bracket 💸
Find your category below and pay what you owe. (Multi-taxing is highly encouraged if more than one applies to you.) Each tax bracket is £10.

💚 Lurker Tax
For the ones who watch from the shadows. You’ve been view-stalking my profile, liking my photos, or hoarding my content without introducing yourself. Time to pay for the media consumption.

💚 Wanker Tax
For the ones getting off on my time. If I’m the inspiration for your solo sessions, you don't get that privilege for free. Pay the toll before you roll.

💚 Beta Tax
For the natural-born followers. You know your place, and your place is funding my lifestyle. Submit your tribute to your superior.

💚 Loser Tax
For the pathetic souls who just need to be drained. You don’t need a reason. You’re a loser, I’m a queen, and this is just the natural order of things.

💚 Small d*ck Tax
For the genetically short-changed. Compensate for what you’re lacking in inches by showing me what you can do with your bank account.

💚 Ugly Tax
For the visually challenged. If you don't have the looks to impress me, you'd better have the funds to keep my attention.

💚 Simp Tax
For the hopeless romantics. If you're going to put me on a pedestal and worship the ground I walk on, you need to fund the lifestyle that goes with it.

💚 Silence Tax
For the ones who just want to be ignored. You pay me, and I give you absolutely nothing in return. No reply, no acknowledgement. Just pure, expensive silence.

💚 Micro-Penis Tax
For the absolute smallest. Taking the "small d*ck tax" a step further. If you’re practically non-existent down there, your tribute needs to be ma**ive.

💚 Paypig-in-Training Tax
For the beginners. You’re new to this and don’t know how to act yet? Pay your tuition fee while I teach you how to serve me properly.

💚 Boring Tax
For the uninspired. If your conversation consists of "hey" or "how are you," you are officially draining my energy. Pay the fine for being boring.

💚 Breathing Tax
For the ultra-pathetic. You are occupying space on the same planet as me. Pay for the absolute luxury of inhaling the same oxygen.

💚 Socks/Shoes/Feet Tax
For the foot-worshippers. Staring at my legs or feet requires a specific license. Pay the foot-traffic toll, and maybe I'll send you a cheeky pic in return.

10.00 GBP 134

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