By Maddiereed 326 views
When I was looking into starting sex work, I read an article that said “sex workers need to have thick skin”, boy let me tell you how correct that is! We are literally putting our bodies out there for everyone to see and comment on.
Typically, I would say most sex workers have quite a bit of confidence. We need to, right? We are literally putting a price tag on our bodies and the things we do and wear with our bodies. In the same respect, no matter how much confidence we have or how thick our skin may be, I think it is also important to remember that everyone needs to have some self-care and take care of their mental well-being. Everyone has days that they aren't feeling their highest self and that’s totally human.
There are some more obvious ways to make sure you are keeping yourself mentally healthy that can often be forgotten such as; staying well hydrated, getting enough sleep (I know many of us work a lot at night and often at times we forget how important our sleep can be), our safety, and making sure we are eating and nourishing our bodies. Sometimes, just these small and seemingly simple tasks can be forgotten when we are feeling really burnt out, busy or down.
I should also state that being in sex work in no way means you’ll have mental health issues. Sex work does however present unique stressors. A lot of these are due to how sex workers are viewed and treated by society. A lot of people involved in sex work can experience a sense of depersonalization. Making us feel as though we are outside of our bodies looking in.
There is also no perfect list of things to do that will help everyone. If some of these things feel like they may help you, please give them a try and if they don’t work for your needs, that is perfectly fine also. If you think of any I may have missed, please feel free to comment so others can have more options!
A large majority of sex workers are closeted. This means that the people we are close to in our personal lives don’t know that we do this type of work and don't know this side of us. This can often be stressful at times. The reasons can be a vast variety of things and all are extremely valid. For some, it is for professional reasons and for others there are factors in their personal life that need them to keep this part of their life more hidden.
This makes it both extremely hard and extremely important to find social support that you can trust. Having someone or a group of people you can trust to talk about your feelings or experiences can be healthy and helpful. Whether you find it online or in your personal life, it is extremely important to know that you have someone who can listen to you talk about your work.
ATW provides something that most other places or platforms do not and that is the sense of community. The dash especially is a great place to see like-minded people and to have the chance to build connections and feel no judgement.
There are so many wonderful buyers and sellers that are always willing to have an open dialogue with zero judgement. I am grateful to have reached out to some great people so far during my time on the site and it is extremely helpful to have a “coworker” type of conversation with people about things I can’t tell people in my personal life.
Being able to unplug is a big way to help your mental health when you are feeling like you’re struggling. When you work primarily on the internet, it can be hard to feel like you can unplug. Your entire business runs on you being active online and interacting with people. Often, at times when you are feeling mental health struggles, you can feel like you aren't doing enough to reach your goals.
This makes you want to push yourself even though you need a break. If you push yourself too hard you may experience further burnout and a sense of dehumanization. Providing a service to others can be draining if you aren't finding ways to cope and care for yourself. Some signs that you may be experiencing burnout are having a sarcastic or cynical attitude towards your work and your clients, feeling disillusioned about work and life, feeling restless and frustrated, projecting negative feelings onto others, and withdrawing from family and friends.
In an online atmosphere, this can be projected on places such as the dash. It is important to keep in mind that if you are feeling this way and want to project on the dash that maybe it is time to unplug and take some time to yourself. Come back feeling refreshed and ready to enjoy your work again.
Setting boundaries is something I highly recommend before offering any type of service in your shop. You need to have a clear idea of what you are and are not comfortable with before starting your listings. You also should know that these boundaries may change from time to time depending on how you are feeling and that is definitely alright!
When you make boundaries and you let them be known, whether that is in your bio or through discussion, be sure you stick to them. No one should ever make you feel as though you should have those boundaries pushed. This also greatly applies to buyers. If you see someone has boundaries and limits posted in their bios, please respect those as you would want them respected in return. This will help ensure that you are comfortable in your work and have a safer experience as well as keep your mental health going strong.
While having social support that you can discuss aspects of your job are important, it is also just as important to remember who you are outside of your job. This can be hard when you work for yourself, you wear clothing for your job and your body is also part of your job. Keeping family and friends that are not a part of your sex work is an important part of self-care. Make time to have normal interactions with people that don’t involve the fantasy and kink world that we work in.
Take time to clear your mind doing things you enjoy. A lot of us on All Things Worn enjoy what we do here on the site, but try to do other hobbies and things you enjoy also. Your hobby may be getting your nails done, getting lashes, or shopping. These are all fun self-care activities. Sometimes, because these are also part of the job, they can seem like another task that you need to accomplish.
Maybe you love to read, go on bike rides, care for plants, hike, go to the movies, or watch your favorite sport. These activities that you do purely for joy and pleasure are important to remind you of who you are as a person. If you don’t have hobbies or are feeling even burned out from your hobbies, take this as an opportunity to try a hobby or activity you have been wanting to try.
A great way to express yourself freely and openly if you feel as though you can't quite discuss everything you are feeling with others is journaling. Whether you write every day, or you only use it as a way to express bad experiences that you need to get off your chest, this can be a great way to get those feelings out.
While this is just a very small list of things that can help you when you are feeling down in your work or life, I hope maybe one of these can help you remember to take time for yourself. Your well-being and mental health are important. Taking time for self-care makes your experience and life better and ATW a better atmosphere too. It is important to remember that you are valuable as an individual.
I’m Madelyn or Maddie for short 💕 I’m a curvy milf that loves to hike and be outdoors. I’m plant obsessed and love indoor and outdoor plants 🪴 I enjoy yoga...
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