Mental Health Struggles as an Adult Content Creator (And What Helped Me)

Seller

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First, a little about me & my history

I’ve always struggled with my mental health, unfortunately even all the way back to pre-adolescence. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder well over 10 years ago now. They affect everyone differently (and are actually heavily stigmatised with some less than flattering stereotypes, which makes talking about it kinda scary)

Everyone feels emotions, however some of us may be more susceptible to feeling hurt - and that’s where I wanted to chime in!

When I stepped into the world of kinky selling I didn’t consider the potential effect on my mood and general emotional wellbeing (both positive and negative)

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself…

ATW & Mental Health

Since my time on ATW there’s been a few sellers, and even a couple buyers, I’ve seen announce that they need a short break to take care of their mental health. There is no shame in it.

So firstly know that! Also know that even though this is an adult site and marketplace; it is a great community, with familiar faces who will show you support! This is a very social site (which I think makes it the greatest! but sometimes you may need space)

How My BPD has affected my time on ATW

Sometimes I don't have the energy to post or promote myself. I compare myself to other sellers, can get overwhelmed if I have multiple outstanding orders, if my inbox is full etc ...

Don't stress. Your mood will perk up, so will your sales, and also -- you won’t be forgotten! Some days I repost a listing and dip. When you provide a good service, they're likely to come back.

Don't spend all your time online, take care of yourself.

I don't take rejection very well... Despite telling myself exactly what I should (it’s not personal, everyone has a type…) it can sting a little.

There's times where I haven’t even been rejected, it's just how I felt!

I have a lot of empathy… Honestly, I've even cried after particularly cruel humiliation sessions (because I'm a sweetheart deep down and hate to think of someone feeling genuinely bad about themselves, and I'd never want to contribute to that)

I remind myself it is consensual and they are literally paying me money to do it. I remind myself I'm good at it, I have so much fun, etc.

How ATW has HELPED me!

Without ATW, I wouldn’t have a whole collection of sexy pictures of myself. I didn’t really have a reason to. Now, I love that I have lots of pictures of myself that I like! It's empowering and I’ll thank myself in old age!! I also love seeing representation of different body types and everyone being celebrated for their individual beauty.

A fun distraction. You will come to learn building your page and creating listings can be quite time consuming. I love Canva. I’m a very visual person, so I spend a lot of time making cover art or taking specific pictures for my listings. It feels good knowing I'm still working/being productive while having space away from interacting with people.

No other site is as social as ATW. I've made friends with other sellers, and as someone with literally 2 friends in real life who can't relate to me talking about this work - it's really nice to connect with people who get it! Sellers here are very supportive of one another.

Finally, my advice.

Talking to a brick wall. It may feel like that at first. You’re putting yourself out there and maybe you’re hearing tumbleweeds... DO NOT hold your value to how much interest you get. Sometimes it takes time, don't give up.

Do not do anything you’re not comfortable with.

“but she — “
“but they will pay — “

Do not do anything that makes you uncomfortable or anything that will stress you out. After a while, you will discover what you like to do/offer most, and least. You'll discover what you’re best at, and what comes to you naturally.

Don't compare yourself to other sellers. I need this tattooed on my hand because I always catch myself doing it. You are going to come across sellers celebrating wins - whether it be achieving their daily goal, reaching a number of reviews, even having a dash drain.

Please do not let it affect your mood. In fact, I really recommend being happy for your fellow sellers. Their win is our win too! It is a great thing that ATW has many buyers that treat sellers well. and you will also have moments and milestones to celebrate!

Also remember - every one has good days, bad days, sometimes even slow months! (including sellers with hundreds of reviews!)

Have at least 1 real life friend who knows about ATW. Sometimes it's not possible, but I've found it helpful to tell my friends about my online work. They now understand when I take ages to reply and we have lots of laughs over my funny stories too!

I also personally need my friends to give me a reality check! sometimes they won’t get it (mention a fetish sandwich and they gag… really?) but sometimes they will say “are you crazy?” and that’s enough for me to be like oh shit yeah I really probably shouldn’t do that. It’s easy to get caught up in this kinky world!

To sum up this post, I just want to say - persevere through any doubt or insecurities , just be yourself! and take time to take care of yourself too. it's okay to be offline :)

I really hope you found something helpful here, I'm just coming back from a hiatus that lasted MONTHS and that inspired this blog post - so trust I mean every word, and have lived it too!!

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