Hungry_Hippo

Sellers taxing fellas for resembling a shrimp, downstairs, appearancewise, should add a little extra to the charge if it also smells like a shrimp

Anyone kind/bored enough to listen to a bit of my forthcoming album, begrudgingly inbox me. Thanks x a lot

Love layin in bed listening to rain pounding against the window. So much more relaxing than hearing the stones, clumps of dogmuck and hurtful phrases thrown at it, by my neighbourhood enemies

@SashaStar382 I'd like to publicly thank you for your kindness and patience in the process of allowing me to beg for and ultimately buy a litre of your lemonade. Thank you, Goddess!!! It's more than I deserve!

Any experienced sellers, with smarts, willing to spare a couple minutes wising me up on something kinda serious? Looks not essential. You're all red hot, anyway. Inbox me, please

Would any ladies be interested in a competition to win a romantic spam fritter supper for two, with yours truly?

The sun is out, the birds are singing. Makes it slightly harder for me to go back to sleep till about 4pm. Harder, but certainly not impossible. Very open to lazyshaming, btw

@SashaStar382 Goddess, I noticed you shortly after joining here. Instantly aspired to be your toylet, and saved your lemonade listing. As getting to drink it would be the highlight of my lonely, wasted, virgin *blush* life, and I'm fat, lazy, unemployed and POOR, I'm hereby begging you to let me buy your elixir at a discount rate. I promise I wouldn't forget how blessed I was for a second, while savouring every drop of that litre of undeserved joy. PLEASE take pity on a lowly pss gargling 🪣. PLEASE?

Knowing that ladies are using and flushing actual toilets, all over the world, makes me feel like one might feel when watching someone burn £20 notes, one after the other

Considering how popular 'pussy pops' are, Chupa Chups should bring out an official minge flavoured one

Anyone bored/kind enough to listen to tracks from my unfinished alternative rock album, feel free to message me

For I am a music maker, and I am a dreamer of dreams

Help! Bought a fart in a jar from a seller here. Arrived today. When I opened it, the fart, a kinda brown wispy cloud with a devious lookin face, floated out and told me it would grant me three wishes. Should I trust it?

Promised a seller I'd pay virgin tax on Saturday evening. That means I have three days to get out of it by losing my virginity in the meantime. Wish me luck, folks

I keep trying to pursuade my rl domme, 97 year old Mistress Humbug to join up here. Buyers would appreciate her 20 minute long uninterrupted powerful golden showers. If only she understood computers

I should buy myself a wee- goblet for my atw purchases. I feel uncouth guzzling from the bottle

I'd like to apologise to the wonderful @ThatOneWithTheBum for paying for my order, which I fully realise is far too good for me, almost an hour late. It'll never happen again, Goddess. Sorry x

It's Switch Sunday! Which of you lowly sellers is reimbursing me for the massive takeaway I just ate? I expect my inbox flooded with "May I, Sir?"s

Fantasising about a group of hot sellers yanking my wig off, throwing it to eachother and pretending to wipe their arses on it, as I waddle around trying to retrieve it, all awkward and embarrassed. Mmmmm

Attempting to get some kip. Feel free to spit or do farts in my inbox, for me to wake up to. Just put "*spits*" or "*farts*", or whatever. Simple things please simle minds!

April Goals: Have my picture ridiculed (without asking) 3/5, Consuming fluids of women that would cross the road to avoid me irl 2/5, Genuine sympathy 4/5, Opening curtains/leaving house 0/5