The Consent Part of Non-Consent

By SexyCece 1202 views

Seller Dom/sub The Consent Part of Non-Consent

Preface: this article is not meant for everyone. It may be triggering for some, and others may think it’s a disturbing topic. These are my experiences and opinions, and not meant to speak for anyone else. If you choose to partake, it is incredibly important that you do so safely as this play is absolutely not for everyone.

Trust

When you think of consensual non-consent, a lot of people immediately think about how sadistic or masochistic you must be to “have a r*pe fetish.” And maybe for some… ATW keeps them out of jail. But for others like me, I ONLY enjoy it in a safe setting with a partner I’ve communicated with extensively and that I trust—the two most important pieces of this kind of play, even more important than having fun.

Why, you ask? Because, if not done correctly, the line of consent can be crossed very quickly, and it won’t be fun. You can go from having fun to not having fun very quickly, and your partner might have no idea because the whole point is to fight and say ‘no’.

Communication and Limits!

This is where safe words come in! Never, ever engage in any kind of risky play without one you’ve discussed before any kind of play starts. As I said, this play can be dangerous if not done correctly and can go wrong quickly if you don’t have a way to tell your partner that you’re not enjoying it anymore.

Play this intense also needs a lot of communication before it ever begins. You and your play partner should discuss what is okay, what is a soft limit, and what is absolutely off-limits for you. Because, again, things can go wrong very quickly if you don’t. No matter how much you may enjoy the fact that you don’t like what’s being done to you, it’s still important to hash out details. And it’s okay to not know all the details before you begin—so long as you have that safe word.

Aftercare

Just as important as all the rest is aftercare! I had never heard of aftercare as a new domme, but it’s incredibly important no matter which position you play, especially if you plan to play with that person again. Aftercare can be anything from cuddles and soft touches afterward, hugs or kisses, but the most important part is communication. What did you like? What did you not like? Was that too aggressive/not aggressive enough? Did you feel safe? What things can we improve? And most importantly, how are you feeling after? If you’re feeling gross or sad or violated, it’s important to take a step back and figure out what went wrong. You should never feel bad after any play session, no matter what play you engage in. That’s why communication is so important both before and after. There’s a level of trust you need to have with your partner: as the bottom, you need to know your top won’t go too far, but as the top you need to be able to trust your bottom to tell you when it’s too much. You have to be able to advocate for yourself to play this way, just as you would in any other kind of play. This is not the time to practice heavy masochism because there’s already too high a chance of it turning into no fun anymore.

Why CNC?

Sounds complicated, right? So why would anyone want to play this way? There are articles and blogs here that go over dom/sub relationships and sadism/masochism, but neither of these fully encompass the nuance that is CNC. Personally, my motto is: “I’m a freak bitch, not a weak bitch.” I consider myself unconquerable, a strong, confident woman who will NOT be pushed around or walked on. So why would I enjoy play like that? The thought of being able to safely give away my control to someone who is so ravenous for me that they “can’t help themselves” is incredibly sexy to me, as well as a healthy way to cope with past sexual trauma (according to my therapist, anyway). I’m a switch, and sometimes I very much enjoy the degradation, humiliation and masochism that can come with this play.

I can’t speak for people who like to lead the scenario, but I suppose that’s exactly what it is. Having full control over someone in a way that is more advanced than just a domination scenario with a willing participant.

Conclusion

ATW is an outlet for everyone with all kinds of fetishes and kinks. Some are definitely more widely accepted than others, but absolutely *no one* should feel ashamed to engage in this kind of play, as long as it truly is consensual. Play should be enjoyable for all parties and should always be done safely and with a partner that you trust and have some kind of relationship with. I cannot stress this enough. There is nothing worse than engaging in play just to not have fun and be left with a gross feeling afterward. This kind of play takes an emotional toll, which is another reason why aftercare is so important, whatever that looks like for you.

By SexyCece

🏆 Top 10% of sellers 4/2023 🏆 🥈2nd place in #ClimbaxUpTheStairs Competition🥈 🤕 I currently have a broken leg. Some items may be unavailable or may need to be modified at my...

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