By LeeTheBoneRanger 1670 views
Hello all. We are:
Kinks_and_curves – selling nearly 7 years, been on this site nearly 3!
ChauffeurSubLeeOwnedByPeachy230 – a buyer on this site for just north of a year, but an enthusiast for as long as I can remember!
We have teamed up on this blog to bring perspectives from both a buyer and a seller, and to try and answer your questions as best we can. We have had some questions from our awesome community which we will answer below, and topics we discussed between ourselves.
Honestly, I say yes, I have been here 3 years this year and a lot has changed.
You’ll always get natural changes as more people join and as people come and go. We have had some rule changes over that time and there will always be a shift in dynamics.
This is why I feel personally it’s so important not to lose sight of what this site is and what has been built here, we are a community, and we built the community together. I definitely think that something can be done to make it better but we have to work together, what that is and how that would look, if I’m being honest, I’m not entirely sure right now.
I believe it's imperative to remember what brought us here and remember that when things have been good, they've been great here! Things can always get lost in translation on any online platform but what's made this dynamic unique is that it's an opportunity to make money whilst fulfilling kinks we may never feel we can share in the "real" world, we can have conversations here that again might feel as the only safe space to do so and we can learn the whole time! There are plenty of people in the "real" world and other forms of social media who can't wait to bring us down, so if we can go back to bringing each other up and having fun at the same time, I'd be more than happy then go from there!
I’d say for me as a seller, things such as little information to go on and no matching payment methods.
I like to know if I can work with someone and give them exactly what they want so when I’m given little information to work with or there is nothing in their bio or posts, it’s hard to find an ice breaker.
I would also say a lack of interaction from buyers makes it difficult because I am not seeing them to begin with, I’m not able to like or comment, to engage as much as I’d like and not so I can come at them with sales. I want to see buyers engage more, it’s what the site is for, it’s good for them and their confidence and helps keep the community going.
While I can’t (and wouldn’t) speak for buyers I think some of the issues for them is being new and shy, not knowing how to approach or what to say.
I think there's some human instincts from (again) the "real" world, i.e., fear of rejection and / or maybe second guessing if a request feels "normal". I also feel that it can be too easy (I've done it myself!!) to take a bad experience and consciously or subconsciously pull the shutters down. From my experience, another factor was initially feeling intimidated to reach out to more popular sellers, that was never on them and purely due to my own insecurities, but once I overcame that I've met some real genuine folk.
Outside of those I'd suggest reaching out if someone catches your eye and their bio doesn't suggest they'd rather message first, no place for regrets here.
I’d say personally it’s more enjoying them more than I thought or I’ve delved deeper into. I’ve been curious about certain kinks like cuckolding for example but not really explored that much, but over time here I’ve tried and loved it.
I’d also say I’ve discovered kinks I didn’t know I liked, like realising I have a bit of a praise kink, but really I probably wouldn’t have realised that or tried it without being here.
Not so much never dreamt of trying but certainly discovered new fantasies I'd never even thought of, mainly based around kinks that were always there. Awesome question and this site has been a well-enjoyed eye opener!
Great question, the first sale can seem elusive. My advice would be to engage as much as you can, interact with other sellers as well as buyers, like and comment on things, do polls, add photos, and ask buyers what they want to see.
Put yourself out there, be yourself!
Another suggestion is collaborating with another seller (if you’re happy with that). It helps boost your confidence, gets your name out there and you get to know so many wonderful people in the process.
Once you’ve gotten a few sales your confidence will naturally grow.
You’ve got this!
Kinks and other sellers can give you far better advice as they've gone through the same experience as you are now. From a buyer's perspective, and I don't speak for all of them, I look for confidence and how someone carries themselves before anything else! I'd say get a sellers tips video as they'll give you more practical advice about logistics but the main general advice I'd give is do you, don't do anything you're not into, set your own prices and don't be swayed. You can always improvise and do deals but don't let any obnoxious, cheap "buyers" dictate anything! Use as many keywords as possible as I for one can do really specific searches so be descriptive of wear, don't have to write an essay on it but if you do housework in them mention it, if you run or exercise in them, mention it, you never know who's into what!! Let the search engine be your friend and type in keywords to meet similar folk and read bio's. I'm the worst for being asked what I'm into as it's on description, posts and a blog and I've no patience for that as it looks like someone doesn't care about the time I've taken to explain myself and smacks of entitlement, not to mention some buyers clearly state they want to send the first message and not to be bothered! Bottom line, be yourself, go for it and don't let sales dictate in your mind if you're doing well or not, consistency is everything!! Xx
For me, I can be quite sporadic in checking out the dash, so I'd say before we get to your profile, it's posts on dash and putting good energy out there, repost listings and interact as much as possible. The dash ties in with the profile for me, and the most important thing (for me anyway) is the profile pic! A face photo catches my eye before anything BUT it is not a deal breaker and DON'T ever feel pressured into showing face if you'd rather not. At the very least use a profile pic that is YOU rather than a generic picture of a backdrop or logo, etc. Coming to the profile itself, I'll usually read your bio first, so I'd say be as descriptive as possible as to what you do and don't do, hobbies, etc. It's YOUR platform so never be shy about expressing yourself!
I'll then look at photos, as I mentioned earlier do them to your comfort level but the confidence that comes across can lure me in.
I'll then look at your shop. With physical items I like to read what you do, so if you go to gym, shops, do housework, etc in socks and underwear that can be a push for some to buy but again comes down to what you're comfortable in sharing and by no means a deal breaker.
I'd also say to be as specific as possible with listings, i.e., instead of saying extras available, state them and how much you'd like for them, I'm super anal on detail and can find it awkward asking questions so to see everything transparent usually gives me the nudge to buy! Great question!
I think Lee has given some great pointers.
I think personally it’s best to just be you, engage as much as you can because it definitely can start with posting, something you post will catch someone’s eye, polls are also a great resource to ask buyers questions and figure out what they’d like to see.
In the actual profile itself I think it helps to talk about you a little bit in terms of hobbies and such ( as Lee mentioned), talk about you on a personal level a little because it can be an ice breaker.
Honestly, I think this is a difficult one. We don’t want to stop anyone being able to post what they’re offering and even looking for as I feel that it could affect buyers as well, however I understand how seeing certain things doesn’t appeal to some.
One idea that could maybe help (and it’s been mentioned before) is a mute button so we are able to still scroll the dash but have more control over the posts we actually see.
Great idea in principle but think Admin would point to the fact there's already different pages for specifics such as underwear / socks / experiences etc as well as the search engine. I do understand the dash is different though, I tend to have a quick look at different sections of dash, i.e., polls, community posts, etc but spend good majority of time trying to keep on top of those I'm following as there's a reason I'm following them. If anyone from there was continually posting anything that wasn't welcome, I'd unfollow them and this tends to work for me and could be an idea worth trying.
Never fear being stubborn when you need to be but also never worry about compromising but ONLY when it suits you, and you ONLY!!
Express yourself, you're paying to be here and this is YOUR platform!!
Read bio's and never make assumptions, equally if you feel you would get along with anyone and they've expressed it's cool to message, then do so. If they'd rather reach out first feel free to like and comment on their posts, in my instance I like to reach out first but if I like or comment on someone's post or if they are mentioning something specific from my bio then they have a pass to message me but again everyone's different so it’s a case of reading the room.
ENJOY YOURSELF. Yes this is a selling site but energy translates and if you can go with the above plus be open to advice from other sellers, everything else will take care of itself! That's at the top of my head but advice is one thing I'm open to DM's for, if I can help I'll do my best. Be Lucky! Xx
This is such a tricky one and I can totally see it from both sides.
I also think it’s about safety as well as someone being genuine, so if it deters bad ones I think it’s good but I can also see why it would deter the genuine buyers just as much.
I’m neither for it or against it totally, I see the positives but I can see the negatives and I suppose you have to weigh those up and think about the long term affect.
I also think there are different opinions and ideas on the paid for part: a monthly fee, paying to message and so on.
Honestly I don’t know what is best, maybe someone pays to join but then is refunded when they make a purchase or if they haven’t found what they want and want to leave they get refunded.
Just because someone joins doesn’t mean it will be right for them and I think they shouldn’t lose money if they don’t want to stay, on the other side of that those who want to join just to troll and waste time need to be deterred but is there a way to do it so it’s fair on everyone? I don’t know.
As I write this I imagine I’m a buyer, a genuine buyer who’s come to browse the site, so I go to sign up and see about fees and I have to really ask myself is this for me?
I think maybe back to the drawing board with this one!
I will however say thank you to all the lovely, genuine buyers who support this site and those on it.
Thank you for reading.
We would like to thank:
Thank you for your questions. Xx
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