Confessions of an Exhibitionist

Seller Sellers’ Perspective Confessions of an Exhibitionist

Introduction

*Me in a church sitting in a confession booth*

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been 69 days since my last confession. I have had intercourse in public since then, all with strangers. What do I need to do to repent my sin of lust?”

*Priest speaks through the screen*

“Well child, we shall do 10 Hail Marys. The only thing is, I will have to put my rosary up your ass 10 times to repent such a sin.”

*My response*

“Yes, Father.”

*Bends over*

It’s no secret...I am an avid exhibitionist. I have been ever since I started being sexually active as a young teen. This blog is about my journey as an exhibitionist and a guide to the dos and dont’s of public sex, whether with a committed partner or with a rando you just met at the bar.

Definition of an Exhibitionist

What is an exhibitionist? Well, my own personal definition of being an exhibitionist is seeking the physical, emotional, and mental pleasure of doing sex acts whether by yourself or with a partner(s) in a public setting.

We are the ones who get turned on by the risk of getting caught or possibly seen during our sexual endeavors. There are different layers of being an exhibitionist. It can as mild as watering your garden while naked in your backyard to the extreme of having full-on sex in a parking garage during the day.

In addition, it is true that exhibitionism can be categorized as a mental health disorder. We will unpack that more later in this article.

History of Exhibitionism

Public sex has been a norm in the kink world since the beginning of brothels and bathhouses. During these times, it wasn’t uncommon for people (strangers) to have sex in plain site with other people (strangers). These were ongoing public sex orgies.

As time passed and we developed a more “civilized” society, these kinds of places to indulge in fantasies have become harder and harder to find. As a response, more and more people have taken this kink into their own hands.

When I was 16, I lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend on our high school campus. The excitement of not only having sex but doing it in a forbidden place invigorated me. Ever since then, I never looked back. I’ve had sex in my backyard, movie theatres, parking garages, parks, beaches, public bathrooms, elevators, alleyways, cars, aeroplanes - you name it.

Consensuality and Legality

Exhibitionshits have received a bad rap because of the legal and consensual aspects of our kink. There are those who have a compulsion to flash their genitals to unsuspecting civilians in public places. This is an example of breaking consent and legality.

You hear these types of people as being labeled “deviants who expose themselves.” This is where the medical diagnosis of exhibitionists comes into play. I do not recommend this type of behavior and outlet.

For me, I want to feel the sensation of risk without actually putting anyone at risk. It’s one thing to flash someone in broad daylight on the sidewalk and another to have sex with someone in a dark alleyway at night.

The key word when it comes to the definition of this kink is “risk.” This implies that one engaging in this play isn’t outright showing their genitals at 11 am on a Sunday morning, but engaging in sexual acts in a public place where this “deviant” act is more implied rather than shoved in your face.

You are still in a public place but at the same time in a somewhat more secret and intimate place. In the end, having a good balance of what constitutes “public.”

Anonymous Public Sex

We all have that fantasy of going out to the bar and meeting someone to take home. In my fantasy, I don’t care to know the name of the person or even their personal story. I just want to do shots, fuck in the bathroom, parking lot, or alleyway and never hear or see from them again.

This introduces another “risk.” When having this kind of mindset that I have when going out alone, you need to be prepared and stay safe. This means texting a trusted friend that you’re going to be alone with this stranger and having other protection on you such as pepper spray and condoms.

To me, there’s nothing sexier than meeting someone at the bar, having drinks with them, then having completely anonymous public sex with them and going on my way. Another tip for this is to go to a neighborhood bar you are familiar with and may even know one of the bartenders. Knowing your settings and escape routes are key.

Being an Exhibitionist in a Relationship

We all know that honeymoon feeling when you first get into a relationship with someone and sex is the on menu 24/7. We also all know that feeling when sex becomes more stagnant and like a chore after a certain time in a relationship as well.

This is when introducing public play is a wise idea. Some of the most healthy committed relationships I’ve had included public play. Resparking that spontaneity can be magical and orgasmic.

Yet, if you are in a committed relationship and haven’t indulged in public play yet, it’s best to have a conversation with your partner first about their boundaries rather than springing it on them in a Chipotle bathroom.

Some people may be open to the idea of public play but have their stipulations about it. For instance, you two want to plan a beach day. Well, perfect - who doesn’t fantasize about having sex on the beach?

But, your partner may feel more comfortable investing in a roomy tent you two can be in while engaging in this sexy act. Again, that is where the balance of “public” comes into play. You can still be an exhibitionist while not being blatantly seen by others.

Final Thoughts

In the end, it’s okay to have these impulses about public play and exhibitionism. It’s just a matter of being smart about it and executing your fantasy in a safe way. Also, don’t feel like you have to jump in at the deep end with this kink with full force; work your way up to what you feel comfortable doing at first.

A good practice is to walk around the inside of your house or backyard naked and maybe take pictures of yourself in this state and setting. And who knows? You can even practice pleasuring yourself in new places around your home that you normally wouldn’t as a good stepping stone to public play.