A Guide to Internal Hygiene: Keeping your Kitty Wet and Healthy

Seller Tips For Sellers

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Hi! I am SatsumaCutie and I have just passed my 6-month mark on All Things Worn! It has been (and continues to be) a wonderful experience that has been empowering, liberating, and exciting. Not only is it fun to engage my sexual side with buyers, but it is thrilling to see so many other powerful and independent sellers just doing the dang thang! I love to see it.

This blog is essentially for those who may be maturing out of being a natural WAP. It’s completely natural for our bodies to change but DAMMIT am I going to hold on for a little while longer. And now, my Ted Talk:

I was definitely a late bloomer (only losing my virginity in college). In college, I was on tinder for 5 years but never met with anyone for fear of ending up as the latest episode on the true crime podcasts that I love so much. I got my jollies off to spicy smutty fantasy books and erotic gifs that used to grace the hallowed halls of Tumblr (man, those were the days).

Back then, I may not have been sexually active, but my body’s hormones were turned up to 11 and I can recall being absolutely exasperated at the snail trails that were CONSTANTLY being deposited into the gussets of my panties. 24/7, I had that ushy gushy and I was so annoyed by it, that I would stuff wads of toilet paper between my lips to try to save my panties from the inevitable wetness that would leave me squirming with discomfort midway through the day.

Even up until recently, I would be so lubricated at any point in time, that I would have to wipe down before and during sex so that I could feel the friction of penetration. I was like an oiled slip-n-slide at the drop of a hat!

And then…I turned 25. Suddenly, my hips started widening and my ass got capital “P” Phat. I was thinking, “dope! All those glutes days in the gym are working for me!”

I quickly outgrew all my pants in the span of a year, and I had to cut slits in the legs of my boxers to avoid cutting the circulation off to my legs. Small price to pay for a Pixar Mom™ dump truck, amirite? But then at the same time, my hoo-ha started drying out. Finally, my panties were clean! Finally, no more wads of toilet paper shoved in my crotch to keep the dampness at bay. A blessing, and a curse when I had to buy my first bottle of lube. Around this time, I joined All Things Worn when I couldn’t bear to throw out all my cute panties from smaller-booty-me.

Every buyer in my DM’s wanted soaking wet and creamy panties. It seemed like all sellers were advertising their creamy orgasms and cummed-in panties and I started feeling self-conscious and so frustrated that I didn’t join earlier when my snatch was like a leaky faucet.

In talking with other friends my age and doing some research, I found that uterus-owners go through a second puberty in their mid-20s! Changes to our hips to signal breeding potential (or so some male scientist says lmao) and then, counterintuitively, the general drying of vaginal fluids.

Unrelated to this post, but my curl patterns have changed, and my skin texture has changed from oily/combination to dry. Apparently, my brain is also supposed to be “fully formed” now but I’m not sure if I am seeing the benefits of that yet.

I wanted to be successful on ATW and wanted to give the buyers what they want but I also didn’t want to be just another scam and put aquafaba in my panties or something to make them slimy. I’m about quality and honesty, baby! And so, I turned to naturopathic remedies to try to resolve my dryness.

If you’ve made it this far into my backstory for this blog, I promise, I am getting to the meat of the post now!

So, I have one way to increase your body’s natural lubrication systems and a couple of other ways to improve overall vaginal health! I have been using them for a couple of months and am wowed at the results.

Slippery Elm Capsules (1)

The bark of the Slippery Elm tree has been used by North American indigenous communities for centuries for its beneficial healing of wounds, boils, burns, skin irritation, coughs, diarrhoea, and stomach problems.

It can be used as a salve, but I have been taking it in capsule form. The plant contains mucilage which is a substance that becomes a slick gel when mixed with water (kind of like flax seed gel if you’ve ever used that as a hair treatment).

This mucus causes reflux stimulation of nerve endings in the GI tract, leading to an increase in mucus secretion! I got my bottle from Whole Foods and it says that you can take up to three capsules a day but I usually only take 1-2 capsules, 2-3 times a week.

I have had no negative side effects but I have read that using the full amount every single day can be taxing on the liver so I use it sparingly and drink plenty of water to keep my body hydrated and flushing (as you should with any supplements). I have been like a slip-n-slide again, folks! No lube is needed in the bedroom and that snail trail is back with a vengeance in my panties!

WARNING: the mucus in Slippery Elm coats the digestive tract and will slow down the absorption of other drugs/supplements so if you take Slippery Elm and are on birth control pills or prescribed medications, TAKE AT LEAST 2 HOURS BEFORE OR AFTER TAKING BIRTH CONTROL. I have an impregnation kink but it doesn’t mean I’m actually ready for a baby rn and the last thing I need is to get pregnant while just trying to make creamier panties to sell. That’s not the vibe.

Chlorophyll Capsules

I have been taking chlorophyll for years! This won’t necessarily make you more lubricated, but it will keep you smelling and tasting great. You want that gorgeous slime to be so fresh and so clean, right?!

Apparently, the baddies on Raw Vegan diets have the sweetest tasting juice in town. But babes, while I may be vegetarian, I love me some cheese and junk food. And I want to be able to eat all the garlic, hot Cheetos, baked brie, and whatever the fuck else I want and STILL taste like a sweet little succulent morsel.

I’m not going to lie to you, the science is non-conclusive on the benefits of taking chlorophyll for liver detoxification and reducing internal body odor. However, the amount of anecdotal evidence from women who use it is convincing enough for me. It also personally works, and I swear by it. Take it or leave it but the supplements are essentially just the concentrated compound found in all our leafy green plants so if you are sussed out, just increase your intake of greens!

Boric Acid Suppositories

A new fun little thing with getting older has been weird-ass smells the days after a proper creampie. It would seem that I am finally one to be plagued by yeast infections and UTIs but I am not about that life, okay? I work so diligently on my gut health that the concept of taking an antibacterial and killing all my good bacteria off is just NOT IT.

So, I found Boric Acid Suppositories. These are little capsules available at Walgreens, Target, Fred Meyer, etc. that you insert INTO your hoo-ha. The outside dissolves and then the boric acid powder interacts with your mucus membrane, creating a bomb that flushes through your system and overall, lowers your pH back to your body’s natural pH.

Vaginas are acidic, and semen is basic so if you get creamed or have an infection going on, your very delicately rigged fun box can get its pH put out of wack. A Boric Acid Suppository brings the temp back down, flushing and killing anything else.

Bacterial Vaginosis, Yeast Infections, Urinary Tract Infections - just pop a suppository and have it sort itself out! It’s a lifesaver! And when your pH is at the ideal level, you will taste and smell the most “you”.

Warnings for use: you will want to insert at night since the tidal wave of…juice that is created by this is a lot and a bit uncomfortable. When the capsule breaks, it almost feels like you peed a little so wear a pad/panty liner and let all of that happen while you are fast asleep.

Also, Boric Acid is NOT meant to be ingested orally so don’t take it as a pill. Allow a full 24 hours after insertion for your body to flush and reset before selling panties worn during this time to a buyer or letting someone go down on you, ya hear?

Fermented Foods

Hot girls have tummy problems. Period. You’re still hot if you reduce those tummy problems though! Increase your intake of fermented foods to improve overall gut health AND nurture your natural flora of vaginal bacteria.

You can take a probiotic supplement (I do) but I also am a slut for fermented foods. I brew my own kombucha (anyone need some SCOBY??) since the bottles sold in the store are pasteurized and aren’t as powerful as they could be.

Eat yoghurt, apple cider vinegar shots (with the mother), pickles, kimchi, kraut, miso, etc. Honestly, anything that has been fermented and tastes a little funky, get that shit in your belly.

Fermented foods are so good for you and reduce belly hurt because they are packed with good bacteria that will help your natural bacteria populations to break down complex carbohydrates. It just takes some of the load off for you, isn't that nice? Good bacteria in your gut and vagina also create acidic fermentation byproducts (why your kitty tastes a little sour and funky) which lowers your body’s pH, decreasing the chance that bad bacteria can survive and the good can thrive.

Water

Don’t you hate when you ask someone their tips for success and they say, “I drink water”? Me too. So, I won’t beat a dead horse, but water will help all the above categories work beautifully.

I hope this helps some baddies get back to their fountains of youth. I would love to hear if any of these helped you or if you have more recommendations to add! My DM’s are always open!

Please note: I am not a medical professional and if you have any hesitation, please talk to your primary care physician before implementing any of these methods into your health plans.

1. “Slippery Elm.” Mount Sinai Health System, Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/herb/slippery-elm.

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