Going Back to Work Full Time While Surviving the First Trimester

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A few months ago, I never imagined I’d be writing this.

After spending eight months away from work due to my mental health, the thought of returning full time felt overwhelming. I had spent months trying to heal, rebuild my confidence and find my feet again after one of the most difficult periods of my life.

Returning to work was already going to be a huge adjustment.

Then, life threw me another surprise.

I found out I was pregnant.

At six weeks pregnant, I made the decision to share my news publicly. Some people thought it was early, but after everything I’d been through, I wanted to celebrate this baby for every single day that I was lucky enough to carry them. There was no guarantee what tomorrow would bring, and I didn’t want fear to steal my happiness.

So there I was.

Trying to settle back into full-time work after eight months away.

Trying to navigate early pregnancy after previous losses.

Trying to manage the symptoms that seem to hit hardest during the first trimester.

And honestly?

Some days have been really hard.

Nobody really talks about how difficult it can be to return to work while surviving the first trimester. When people think about pregnancy, they picture the cute bump, glowing skin and excitement of buying baby clothes. What they don’t picture is dragging yourself out of bed after spending half the night being sick, forcing down a piece of toast and then trying to survive an eight-hour shift pretending everything is completely normal.

The first trimester is a strange place to be. You’re carrying around one of the biggest secrets—or in my case, one of the biggest announcements—of your life, yet most people still can’t see what you’re going through.

What they don’t see is the constant nausea.

The vomiting before work.

The exhaustion that feels completely different to ordinary tiredness.

The headaches.

The cramps.

The endless trips to the toilet.

The overwhelming need to sleep that hits without warning.

Then there’s the emotional side.

After previous losses, every symptom feels significant. Every week feels like a milestone. Every scan feels like a hurdle crossed. While trying to focus on customers, tasks and everyday responsibilities, there’s always a small part of my brain wondering if everything is still okay.

It’s exhausting in ways I never expected.

Returning to work has also brought feelings of guilt.

Guilt for needing time off.

Guilt for not performing at 100%.

Guilt for struggling with things that once felt easy.

But when I really stop and think about it, my body is already working overtime.

I’m growing a baby.

My hormones are changing.

My blood volume is increasing.

My body is building an entirely new human being from scratch.

Of course I’m tired.

Of course I’m struggling.

Of course some days feel impossible.

One thing this experience has taught me is that progress doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.

Sometimes progress is returning to work after months away.

Sometimes progress is making it through a shift when you’re battling sickness.

Sometimes progress is simply getting out of bed.

I’m learning to stop comparing myself to who I was before.

I’m learning that healing isn’t linear.

And I’m learning that it’s possible to be grateful, excited, scared and exhausted all at the same time.

If you’re reading this while navigating work, mental health recovery, pregnancy, or simply a difficult chapter in your life, please remember that you’re allowed to find things hard.

You’re allowed to have bad days.

And you’re allowed to be proud of how far you’ve already come.

Right now, I’m taking things one shift, one day and one week at a time.

And for now, that’s enough.

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