Intent vs. Impact: Things We Say That Create Distance and Sow Bitterness Amongst Buyers and Sellers

Teacherbitch By Teacherbitch 692 views

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Intent vs. Impact: Things We Say That Create Distance and Sow Bitterness Amongst Buyers and Sellers

Lost in Translation

Failed communication, misinterpretations, and misunderstandings impact our personal and professional lives daily in significant ways. Oftentimes, misunderstandings occur when we make assumptions based on our own perceptions. Being clear and honest with what you’re trying to communicate is paramount to establishing and maintaining our mental health and relationships, especially in an online marketplace where tone, body language, and mood are left up to interpretation, or simply nonexistent.

Before you go forward, this is not a comfortable read. You may find that you’ve made some of the comments below yourself. The purpose of this blog is to educate, open eyes, and hopefully build a better, healthier community going forward.

This is not a comprehensive list, but a list of some of the most common phrases that have been directed at myself, other sellers, and buyers.

Definitions of Impact and Intent

In simple terms, intent is what we “mean” to do. It is the motivation or purpose of our actions and conversations. On the other hand, impact is what we achieve as a result of what we do, what we say, and how our actions and words are received by others. Intent is personal. Impact is not. Impact is formed by individual insights, experiences, biases, and beliefs. Even though impact is not personal, it can feel like it. It’s not uncommon to feel judged or attacked when our innocent, well-meaning intentions aren’t interpreted as we meant them to be.

Examples of Statements Well-Intended Buyers and Sellers Say

1. “You’d have a sale from me if you showed your face.”

Intent: The buyer is stating their preference for sellers they are attracted to, and/or want to purchase from. The buyer is manipulating the seller to push boundaries, which could be due to sexism or bias against sex workers.

Impact: The seller feels like they are being made out to be a coward, or ashamed of how they look. The seller feels like the way their body looks outweighs their personality and/or product.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I prefer to purchase from sellers who show face. It makes the experience feel more personal for me.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: While a seller chooses not to show their face for many reasons, all reasons relate back to one: they don’t want to be identified. This could be due to a spouse not having knowledge of their activity on the site, employers, family members, etc. For sellers who don’t want to be identified, no amount of money, sales, or begging is enough to change their minds.

2. “That’s too expensive. I can get that cheaper elsewhere. Why can’t you charge what they’re charging?” Or “Wow, you charge extra for *insert here*? I can’t believe people charge extra for that now.”

Intent: The buyer is curious as to why someone else is offering the same product/content for less. The buyer sees ATW as one store, rather than a housing for many, many different stores. The buyer is attempting to get the seller to lower their prices to match their budget.

Impact: The seller feels disrespected. The seller questions the way she values herself and her items.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I truly appreciate how you value yourself and your content. Unfortunately, your items/content are out of my price range. Thank you so much for your time.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Pricing is a constant topic of conversation and debate on ATW. No matter what you charge, there will be those that believe you’re too expensive, or too cheap. Charge what you’re comfortable with, and if you’re really not sure where to start, check out Tidalwave679’s pricing guide. While there are many factors that do and should be put into consideration when determining prices, NO ONE has the final say over the prices of your shop except for YOU.

3. “You’re too fat/big/skinny/old.”

Intent: The buyer is stating their preferences for sellers they are attracted to, and/or want to purchase from. The buyer lacks the knowledge and appropriate language to state their preferences respectfully.

Impact: The seller feels like their self-worth is based on their body. The seller feels that they are unattractive and undesirable. The seller wonders if this is a safe place for them to explore their own kinks and fetishes.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Thank you for reaching out, but I’m not interested at this time. I will contact you if my interest changes.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: It’s perfectly fine having a preference for body type, or age. Most everyone does. However, there is a respectful and disrespectful way to state your preferences to members of a group you are not attracted to. If you’re a target of these comments, just remember that you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but someone else finds you beautiful, appreciates you, and loves you just the way you are.

4. “I don’t want to see that on the dash.”

Intent: The individual feels uncomfortable and/or the post has triggered a negative reaction, and/or memory.

Impact: The poster feels shamed.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: No response or commentary is needed.

Further Perspectives & Commentary: We are unable to control what others choose to post, whether we agree with it or not. The best thing to do in these cases is to scroll past, or block.

5. “Okay. Well, I’m going to keep doing what I do, regardless.”

Intent: The individual feels as if their identity is being attacked.

Impact: The individual has demonstrated that they have no interest in growing as a person and does not consider the perspectives of others.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I hear you. Thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Someone who is unwilling to consider constructive feedback is someone people will stray from working with. Others will be cautious in approaching this person due to the fear of being attacked. Having the ability to listen to and consider feedback, even if you don’t agree with it, is an important part of personal growth. People will respect you for it and gravitate towards you.

6. “Awww, why not? Can you do it just this once for me?”

Intent: The buyer wants to work with the seller.

Impact: The buyer has demonstrated that they do not respect boundaries and is using sympathy and guilt to manipulate the seller into doing something they are uncomfortable with doing. The buyer is hopeful that the seller is desperate enough for money to complete their request.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Thank you for your time, but I’m looking for someone more in line with my preferences.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Everyone has limits and boundaries and they are in place for a reason. No sale, or amount of money, is worth breaking those promises you’ve made to yourself. Your limits and boundaries are put in place to protect you. They are a form of self-love and shouldn’t be taken lightly. The word “no,” is a complete sentence.

7. “You don’t do nudity? Why are you even here? What a prude.”

Intent: The individual believes that sex work must involve nudity to be kinky and/or fulfill fetishes.

Impact: The seller now feels isolated from the community at large and believes there isn’t a place for their own kinks and fetishes.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Thank you for reaching out, but I prefer sellers who are able to offer nudity in content.”

8. “Okay, well I can’t pay until ‘x’ day.”

Intent: The buyer is communicating that they are interested but can’t pay until they have the necessary funds. The buyer wants to keep the conversation going as long as possible.

Impact: The seller feels as if they have just wasted their time. The seller is wondering why the buyer took the time to talk through an order if they weren’t ready to pay for it. The seller is doubtful the buyer will return to pay for the items/content discussed.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I do have some of your items/content saved, but I won’t be paid until *x* day. I don’t want to waste your time, so I’ll contact you closer to the time when I have the funds to complete an order.”

9. “What grade do you teach? Do you have any kids?”

Intent: The buyer wants to get to know the seller on a personal level.

Impact: The seller is feeling wary and wondering if the buyer is looking for illegal content.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! I’m so amazed by the fact that you’re a teacher/mother. Your work is admirable. What’s the best part about your job?”

10. “Where are you from?”

Intent: The buyer wants to get to know you on a personal level. The buyer wants to estimate shipping times and costs. The buyer has a preference for people of a certain background, ethnicity, or culture.

Impact: The seller feels as if you are trying to reveal their identity by figuring out where they live.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Thanks for reaching out to me. I’d love to get to know you better.”

11. “Who would be into that? That’s weird and gross.” - not in reference to illegal requests.

Intent: The individual has little to no experience with the kink or fetish in question. The individual is making their own preferences known.

Impact: The receiving party feels shame for being into their kinks. The receiving party is thought they found a site where their kinks and fetishes could be shared and celebrated without feeling judgment. The receiving party deletes their profile.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Wow. I’ve never heard of that kink/fetish before. Could you tell me more about it? I’d love to learn more.”

12. “Ugh, you’re on your period now? I don’t want to wait for the panties anymore. Just refund me.”

Intent: The individual is uncomfortable discussing natural functions of a woman’s body. The individual does not want to, or is not able to, wait for the length of the seller’s period.

Impact: The seller has been made to feel that a natural bodily function she has no control over is disgusting and undesirable.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better and look forward to when you can resume the wear.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Becoming upset with someone who cannot control a perfectly natural bodily function is not only unreasonable, but makes you seem like someone who is uneducated about the female body. Making a woman feel embarrassed or ashamed of her period is unacceptable behavior. Period.

13. “You don’t send proof pics daily? Well, I hope you’re being honest because the ‘nose knows.’”

Intent: The buyer wants to ensure their item(s) are being worn as agreed upon. The buyer does not want to be scammed or ripped off.

Impact: The seller feels like the buyer already mistrusts them before the wear has begun. The seller feels as if the buyer is using the outcome of the wear as leverage. The seller is worried that even if she completes the wear as agreed upon, the buyer will not be satisfied, and they will be left with a negative review or having to give a refund.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I noticed you send a limited amount of proof pics throughout the wear. Would you be willing to send proof pictures daily if I paid extra for your time?”

14. “Do you know how many other sellers I could go to for this?”

Intent: The buyer wants a specific item, or content, but is unwilling to pay the asking price, or respect the sellers’ boundaries.

Impact: The seller feels as if they are being manipulated into doing what the buyer has requested.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Thank you for your time, but I don’t believe we are compatible.”

15. “I just got off to your pictures.”

Intent: The individual meant this statement as a compliment. The individual wants the seller to feel that they are sexy, handsome, good-looking, etc. enough for them to exhibit a sexual response.

Impact: The seller now feels like a piece of meat. The seller feels guarded and as if their only worth is based on how their body looks in their photos. The seller feels cheated out of content they could have sold.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “The photos you share are incredible. I would love to send you a tip to show my appreciation for all of your hard work or place an order where I can order a video/custom photo set from you.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Telling us you got off to our photos is not a compliment, especially when we’ve never spoken to each other. No one wants to feel like a living sex doll. If it’s not something you’ve paid for, or would say to a stranger in public, don’t say it.

16. “Could we just be friends? Can we still talk even if I don’t buy anything?”

Intent: The buyer has enjoyed the seller's company and their conversations. The buyer wants to maintain the existing relationship without money being a factor.

Impact: The seller has spent time building a rapport with someone who is uninterested in buying from them. The seller feels as if they have wasted their time. The seller feels as if they should limit casual conversation with buyers in the future so that their time is not wasted further.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I love our conversations and think you’re a wonderful person, but you don’t offer anything I’m interested in purchasing. I completely understand if you have to direct your attention elsewhere.”

17. “I don’t like feeling like this is transactional. You’re not like other sellers…you’re not just here for the money.”

Intent: The buyer wants to ensure they are not treated like a human wallet.

Impact: The seller feels uncomfortable. The seller is under the impression that this is an online marketplace and that every interaction that ends in a sale is in fact transactional.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I truly appreciate the time you’ve spent to build a rapport with me. I look forward to continuing future orders with you.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Sellers are here for many reasons, but the commonality amongst most, if not all, of us is that we are here to make money. Of course we love what we do, but we also have lives, families to support, etc. It is unreasonable to expect sellers to be comfortable with blurring the lines between professional and personal relationships on an online marketplace.

18. “Wait, why didn’t you start the wear/content yet? I know I didn’t pay, but I told you I wanted it.”

Intent: The buyer does not understand that payment must be made before content and wears are started.

Impact: The seller feels disrespected. The seller feels as though the buyer does not have enough trust in them to complete the order after payment is made, and that they are expected to work for free. The seller is trying to be respectful towards the wears that are already paid for and scheduled.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I’m interested in setting up an order for *insert here. * Please let me know what needs to happen to get the ball rolling on the order I’m interested in.”

19. “Can you hold xyz for me? Why did you sell it to someone else? I told you I was interested.”

Intent: The buyer is interested in the item/content but does not have the funds to pay for it. The buyer believes they are entitled to the item/content simply by stating their interest.

Impact: The seller is frustrated and feels disrespected. The seller feels that the buyer is thinking they are entitled to items that are not their own.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I’m very interested in *insert here* but I do not have the funds at this time. Are you willing to accept a 50% non-refundable deposit, so that the item is reserved for me and not given to anyone else?”

20. “I want a verification photo/video before purchase. How do I know you are who you say you are?”

Intent: The buyer is worried about being scammed.

Impact: The seller feels as if the buyer is requesting free content from them, especially when their page already says they are verified.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! I can see that you’re verified through ATW, but I still have some anxiety over purchasing from people I haven’t worked with before. Do you mind sending me a short verification photo, or video? I’m willing to pay for the content.”

21. “You should…add *insert here* photos, change *insert here* in your listings, etc.”

Intent: The individual believes they are offering helpful, constructive advice.

Impact: The seller feels insulted and taken aback. The seller did not ask for advice and begins to feel self-conscious about the decisions they’ve made in running their shop. The seller becomes defensive.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: Unless the seller has asked for advice on how to improve their page, listings, etc. do not offer unsolicited advice.

22. “I’m disappointed. Why don’t your *insert here* smell the same as the last time I purchased from you?”

Intent: The buyer was expecting the sellers’ scents to smell the same. The buyer lacks knowledge of how scents can change over time.

Impact: The seller feels frustrated, angry, and helpless about a complaint they have no control over. The seller feels unappreciated and accused of not wearing for the full amount of time. The seller feels made out to be a liar, and as if the buyer is looking for an additional wear at no cost to them.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships:

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Sellers are not machines that pop out exact replicas of previous wears. When someone is disappointed in something so personal, the disappointment feels personal as well. There are many variables that change the scent of worn items, such as diet, activities, medication, hormone levels, environment, climate, etc. To expect worn items to have the exact same scent as previous wears is an invitation for disappointment and frustration.

23. “Well, I didn’t like that. But I didn’t want to bring it up and interrupt our session.”

Intent: The buyer did not want to be taken out of the session. The buyer wanted to get what they paid for. The buyer is uncomfortable using their safe word.

Impact: The seller feels like they took advantage of or crossed/pushed a boundary they didn’t know existed. The seller experiences mental anguish over potentially causing harm they did not intend to make. The seller’s self-confidence is shaken and feels a betrayal of trust. The experience is ruined for both the buyer and the seller.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I need to stop the session. *Insert safe word here*”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: The best way to avoid this type of conversation is to openly and thoroughly discuss limits and boundaries before any session. Safe words are a must and should be used when play goes beyond your limits and boundaries or makes you uncomfortable for any reason. The intent is never to cause actual harm. Open and honest communication before, during, and after sessions is paramount to both the buyer’s and seller’s mental health, safety, and longevity.

24. “Fine. Don’t buy from me. You’re the one missing out.”

Intent: The seller wants the buyer to believe that they are not bothered by their decision not to work with them.

Impact: The seller feels insecure about why the buyer has chosen not to work with them. They are wondering what is wrong with them. After receiving a negative reaction, the buyer feels justified in their decision not to work with the seller.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I respect your preferences and hope you find what you’re looking for.”

25. “If you want me to buy from you, you’ll have to ask my owner for permission first.”

Intent: The owned individual is attempting to follow the rules and restrictions put in place by their owner. The owned individual is trying to be respectful.

Impact: The seller is wondering why they should waste their time reaching out to another seller for someone else to buy from them, especially when they themselves are not a part of the sub/dom dynamic. The seller is confused as to why the sub is not the one asking for permission.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! Thanks for reaching out to me. I’m interested in a few things you have for sale, but I’ll need to check in with my owner first.”

26. “What is the point of even having your profile on private? Are you actually trying to sell your items/content, or not?”

Intent: The buyer is stating their preferences. The buyer is frustrated that they can’t see the page of a seller they may be interested in purchasing from. The buyer is unaware that you can still view the seller’s listings without following them or having access to their page.

Impact: The seller feels ashamed for making a personal choice to protect themselves and their privacy.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! I love seeing your posts on the dash, and I’m interested in some of the items you have to offer. Do you mind if I follow you?”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: There is a very common misconception that because a sellers’ profile is private you cannot see anything they have to offer. That is false. For sellers, like me, who include their usernames in their listings tags, as well as include hashtags on their posts, you can easily access most of the items and content they have to offer. Did you know that if your profile isn’t private, even people you have blocked, can sign out of the site and still have a complete view of your page, listings, and other information? Private profiles are meant to maintain an iota of privacy on a website where intimate details and content are shared freely.

27. “Your likes and comments of support on my posts mean nothing when you never send money to show your appreciation.”

Intent: The seller wants to make sure you aren’t getting off to their content for free. They are reiterating that ATW is an online marketplace before a social media platform.

Impact: The buyer receiving this comment may feel worthless, or like they’re not good enough. The buyer may feel like they are just a wallet to empty, rather than a human being with feelings.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language and Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! I appreciate all of your love and support on my page. Are there any items I can interest you in purchasing?”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Being treated like a human ATM is a kink for some, not all.

28. “Hey baby, I saw your profile. Do you want to have fun? I’m horny. Want to help me cum?” - from a buyer’s point of view.

Intent: The seller is trying to get the buyer’s attention with sexual chat. The seller is inexperienced. The seller is trying to get a sale.

Impact: The buyer is uninterested or frustrated with receiving these messages on a regular basis. The buyer is wondering why they should pay the seller when it sounds like they're willing to engage for free. The buyer is put off by the lack of care and consideration put into cold-call messages such as this. The buyer wonders if there is a place for themself on the site.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships:

If the buyer has a bio - “Hey! I had a read over your bio/saw your request on the dash and I thought we’d be a great match to work together based on *insert here. * I would love to get the chance to work with you and explore our kinks and fetishes together.”

If the buyer has no bio - “Hey! I’m not sure what you’re into, but I wanted to share some things I love to offer on this site. Maybe we’d be compatible? If not, have a good one!”

If your advances are turned down - “Thanks for taking the time to write back to me. I hope you find what you’re looking for!”

If your advances are ignored - Assume they aren’t interested and move on.

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Receiving messages from those who come off as pushy in their intentions to make a sale can be off-putting. As one buyer describes, having to respond to “Hey, Daddy. Wanna play?” feels like answering a phone call in a horror movie. Similar messages to the above example feel cold, as if you’re speaking with a bot. This is an online marketplace, but approach is everything. The majority of us have had to deal with the annoyance of an over-eager, annoying shop assistant in our personal lives trying to sell us something. Buyers should not have to feel like they are walking on eggshells when they are faced with turning someone down due to incompatibility. In fact, oftentimes, this is exactly why buyers won’t respond. This pushy and manipulative behavior results in buyers refraining from posting their requests on the dash or deleting their accounts so they do not have to deal with unnecessary abuse from sellers. Buyer or seller, no one should be made to feel like they don’t belong. There is a seat at the table for everyone.

29. “Hey baby, I saw your profile. Do you want to have fun? I’m horny. Want to help me cum?” - from a seller’s point of view.

Intent: The buyer is making an attempt at free sexting. The buyer is testing the waters to see what they can get away with without committing to a sale.

Impact: The seller feels uncomfortable, especially since this is the first time they’ve had contact with this buyer. The seller feels their time and efforts are being disrespected.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! How are you doing? I was checking out your profile, and saw some listings I’d be interested in. I’d love to have the opportunity to work/play with you. Can I ask you a few questions, or recommendations, about the listings I’m interested in?”

30. “Hey, I have some *insert here* I want to get rid of. Do you want them?” Or “Someone buy these, or they’re going in the trash” Or, “Panties from the hamper!”

Intent: The seller is making a last ditch effort to find the item a home before they throw it away. The seller has limited space to keep all of her listed items, especially when it feels like no one is interested, or buying.

Impact: The buyer ends up feeling like a trash can, or someone buying items at a second-hand clothing store.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! I have the perfect pair of *insert here* that I would love to wear for you.” Or “I saw that you like *insert here* in your bio. I have that exact style in my closet. It would be an honor to wear them for you.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Most buyers love buying worn items on this site because they get to work with sellers who wear items specifically for them. “Hamper panties” only really appeal to buyers who like the idea of stealing panties from a hamper. It is a very niche fetish. The majority of buyers enjoy discussing details about wears with sellers, and it’s a turn-on knowing when a seller puts on their socks, stockings, panties, etc. just for that buyer. The items are more than just about the scent, but about the close and intimate experience that comes with them. Hearing about what the seller did during the day, why the item being worn is special, thinking about the woman who wore them, and what they did in them as the buyer enjoys her fragrance and scent make custom wears truly supreme.

31. “Why would you ruin your beautiful body with all those tattoos and/or filters?”

Intent: The individual is stating their preference for bodies without tattoos. The buyer wants to have a clear picture of who they are purchasing from, or what they are purchasing before committing to an order.

Impact: The seller feels uncomfortable about the choices they’ve made for their body. The seller feels undesirable.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Wow! You have so many tattoos. May I ask what the stories behind them are?” and “Hi! I’d love to order some custom, unfiltered photos. Is that something you’d be comfortable doing?”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: Whether you like them or not, tattoos are a form of self-expression. They often have deep meaning and are important to those who have them. What someone chooses to do with their own body is their own business. If you’re not into tattoos, there’s no need to make disparaging comments, as there are plenty of others that offer what you’re looking for. In terms of filters, I personally use them to hide tattoos, or certain areas of my body, which would make me recognizable. It’s unfair to assume that sellers who use filters, or get tattoos, are ashamed of their natural bodies.

32. “Men are stupid/inconsiderate/bad, etc.”

Intent: The individual is venting and/or voicing their frustration with a particular party, or parties of people, such as unsolicited photos, scammers, time wasters, harassment, etc.

Impact: The buyer (or sellers) feels unfairly generalized based on the actions of a few individuals.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “I’ve had some incredibly frustrating interactions today. Is anyone willing and available to chat? I just need someone I can vent to.”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: These types of blanket statements are not helpful and are hurtful. Avoiding sexist statements and focusing on the particular behavior that is problematic (i.e. wasting time, ghosting, refusing to pay) is more productive. Seek advice from and vent to fellow sellers about these issues. Most genuine buyers see this site as a community where women and men can come together and engage in transactions that are mutually beneficial, rather than a “men vs. women” battle royale.

33. “I saw you lurking. Pay your taxes, loser!”

Intent: The seller is wondering why you have visited their page so often but have not committed to any purchases. The seller is wondering if you are getting off to their photos for free. The seller is into findom and humiliation and is trying to find buyers with similar interests.

Impact: The buyer is into this language and will pay their lurker tax. The buyer is unfamiliar, or not into humiliation and paying taxes. The buyer feels as if their consent has been breached since they’ve been asked to commit to something they never agreed to.

Ways to Rephrase Our Language to Maintain/Repair Relationships: “Hey! I’ve noticed you visiting my page quite a few times in the past couple of days/weeks. Is there something specific I can help you with?”

Further Perspectives & Commentary: There are many, many times I’ve accidentally clicked on someone’s profile while scrolling the dash, especially when accessing it on a mobile device. It is so easy to click on one of those profile bubbles without even meaning to. I visit my recent profile visitors frequently to see if any of them are already following me, if I can help them with anything, etc. New buyers may be nervous about contacting a seller, so they might visit their page multiple times before mustering up the courage to contact them. Or the buyer sometimes simply forgets which profiles they visit and might click on a profile multiple times by accident. After all, there are ALOT of sellers to choose from. Putting your profile on private where you can control who follows and accesses your page is a quick and easy fix for genuine lurkers. Only post photos you’re comfortable with sharing, especially if you have a public profile. At the end of the day, there are so many diverse and various kinks and fetishes, that there are very few things you can post that people aren’t getting off to.

Citations :

Buyers and sellers who helped make this blog possible: Alexibun, QueenMommy, ZachM134, MrSmithy6, and others who wished to remain nameless.

An extra special shout-out to QueenMommy for not only being an amazing editor for this blog, but a wonderful friend, and human being.

By Teacherbitch

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Honeypchs This is a cool read. I just experienced this not that long ago. I was asking questions to be really clear what exactly was being looked for. Someone mistook my question as offering something they were disgusted by. And was highly offended and stopped replying. But I was just trying to clarify. Sometimes it’s taking the time to read someone’s message to make sure you are understanding them as well. Communication matters for sure! I could have chose different wording. But I know my intentions, so that’s ok. Lessons learned.

Kaitlynnicole17 I absolutely loved this read!!

AnnaMariaJoy i wish i could bookmark/pin this!

AnnaMariaJoy whoa. what an amazing read with so many useful tips all gathered on one page. thanks for the hard work put into this!

Teacherbitch @SuccyfuccyfeetwithMolly @Seanxxx @AussieMilfy Thanks so much! ❤️

Teacherbitch @BeneathGoddessFeet 😘😘😘

Teacherbitch @SilverSurfer Thank you! Definitely meant to be read by both buyers AND sellers. 😊

Lusciouscutie @SilverSurfer I agree, think it's definitely a good and educating read for both buyers, and sellers 🩷

AussieMilfy I'm very new to selling and struggling a little bit with figuring it all out. This has been extremely helpful in learning about buyers and how I'm possibly being perceived as a seller. So much appreciation and love for everyone involved in creating this post. Thank you 🙏❤️

Seanxxx Wow, great read. We can all take something from this and improve our communication. Thanks for writing!!!

SuccyfuccyfeetwithMolly A brilliant piece! I love that is has perspectives from both buyers and sellers. We can all learn from this! Thank you for writing such an important and well written blog!

BeneathGoddessFeet This should be ESSENTIAL reading for EVERY member of this community... buyers and sellers, alike. I have been doing this for a long time, but Teacher admirably demonstrates one is never past learning... and trUly understanding... new perspectives from differing points of view 👏BRAVO!👏

SilverSurfer Fantastic, helpful blog Teach! 👏 👏 👏

SilverSurfer @Katiex That right there was a divisive comment. The blog has helpful tips for sellers as well on how to talk to buyers. It goes both ways.

Katiex Hopefully buyers will take the time to read this x

Mistress_Violet It really has especially with how things have been recently for both buyers and sellers xx

Teacherbitch @Localebonymilf @XRubyRed @Beachypeach @TheRealPrestigeFeet @XMistress_Yukix @Derbygirl @PorcelainWitch23 @Tuesday05 @Smellycat59 @SweetAsWine @Alexibun @Lusciouscutie @Ruby_Rose2014 @Katiex @SweetSerenity @QueenMommy @KinkySAHM84 @Mistress_Violet @Dawnnanewera Thank you all! So grateful to see my blog have such a positive and powerful impact. 🙂

Dawnnanewera Gradtitude👏😊❤️

Mistress_Violet This is absolutely brilliant hun 😘😘

KinkySAHM84 A+!!!

QueenMommy I was more than happy to help with this, Teach ❤️ It’s an excellent read!

SweetSerenity Fantastic blog! I’ve heard a few of these and you’re right about the intention vs impact

Katiex Good read 👏 does help if buyers read our bio before messaging x

Ruby_Rose2014 So thorough and well written! A+ Teach

Lusciouscutie This was extremely well written, wow 👌🏼 👏🏻 🩷

Alexibun Yay, its finally out!!! 🥳🥳🥳

SweetAsWine This is soooooooooo fucking good!!!!!

Smellycat59 This is one of the most comprehensive, well written and informative blog posts I've ever read here,and I have read many. Thank you 😊

Tuesday05 Absolutely amazing, informative, and helpful! For everyone!!

PorcelainWitch23 I will definitely be utilizing this blog! It's so helpful. Thank you!

Derbygirl This is amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this out 🖤

TheRealPrestigeFeet Brilliant blog and definitely needed at this time xx

XMistress_Yukix Yes, thank you!

Beachypeach It needed to be said and it was on point !! 🔥🔥🔥

XRubyRed This is FANTASTIC, thank you!

Localebonymilf After seeing a lot of hurt on the dash recently, this couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you for the amazing & thoughtful blog!☺️💕

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