How ATW Helped Me Realize That I Deserve Better

Seller Motivational Sellers’ Perspective How ATW Helped Me Realize That I Deserve Better

I first entered the kink community and worn clothing industry about 6 months ago. At the time, I was in a relationship of a little under 3 years, and I thought my partner and I were happy.

Being in love is intense. It can cloud your judgment, and make you put up with things you normally never would have. People accept the love they think they deserve, and for people dealing with insecurity issues, that can cause huge problems. It definitely did for me, at least.

I was never the type of person that needed to be in a relationship. But, every time I got into one, I found that I lost touch with myself. Everything I did was no longer for me, but for the person I was in a relationship with, or for the preservation of the relationship itself.

I have a super big heart and almost an unhealthy amount of empathy. I was always the type of person that would suffer in silence before I made someone feel guilty for hurting me. If I was aware that I was doing this to myself at the time, I never would have let it go on for so long. But I wasn’t aware. Because I didn’t understand the kind of love that I deserved was much more than what I was receiving.

Okay, so a little bit of a necessary backstory. My last relationship lasted a little over 3 years, and for the entire duration of us being together, he never took me out to dinner. Not once. All we did together was lay around and watch movies.

I brought this up to him a few times. I asked him to take me out on a date, to do something romantic, or really to just give me any sort of reassurance that he cared about me as much as I cared about him. He would tell me that I was being superficial, that I was letting my idea of how I thought relationships should be affect the way that our relationship naturally was.

He would complain about his love not being enough for me, and that I was taking him for granted. Obviously, that wasn’t the case, I just wanted to feel valued. But again, people accept the love they think they deserve.

Over the course of our relationship, it spiralled from just feeling disregarded, to basically not being able to have my own opinions. Occasional spats started turning into verbal abuse, and soon after it spiralled into throwing things and shoving me around. I’m not sure how far I would’ve let it go had I not found All Things Worn, but luckily I’ll never have to know.

At the beginning of January 2022, I discovered the worn clothing industry, and quickly found myself immersed in the kink community. I started out on another site that wasn’t nearly as amazing as All Things Worn, but the community itself is the same across the board. A group of amazingly kind and open-minded individuals!

I found myself spending more and more time communicating with people, collaborating on orders, and learning more about myself than I ever knew was possible. Having super amazing short-term conversations, and forming real friendships with people who enjoy working with me.

But the one thing that really stuck out to me, was the way that almost every single buyer I’ve come in contact with has treated me with the utmost respect and kindness. It wasn’t that I was expecting the buyers to be crude or disrespectful, it was only that I had been being treated that way for so long in real life, that I hadn’t really realized that I deserved, or would ever get, anything better.

And it wasn’t until joining ATW, and being treated ten times better by everyone here than my own real-life partner, that I realized I really did deserve better.

Even though I’m not necessarily the type of person that needs to be in a relationship, being single for the first time in over 3 years is pretty daunting! I was mainly afraid of feeling alone. I’ve always had a hard time opening up to people, so besides my past partner, it didn’t really feel like anyone knew me for who I truly was, and I think in the back of my mind, I felt like if I did leave him, I wouldn’t feel seen anymore. But, that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

As I spent increasingly more time on ATW, I started to realize that the friends I’ve made here actually see me for who I really am. It’s way easier to be yourself and let your true colors fly on a website full of people you don’t know in real life. Because of that, I’ve been able to make genuine connections where we make each other happy, and not just one-way street relationships.

So, I guess this is really less of a blog post, and more of a thank you letter. To all of the buyers that make sellers feel special and respected, to all the sellers who interact with others on the dash and put their effort into making this a safe and welcoming place, and to the admin team, for creating such an awesome space for the kink community, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I don’t know where I’d be without all of you, but I know 100% that I’m better off because of this community, and I’m very grateful to be able to have this experience with all of you‍