The Importance of Consent

By Hayles 1520 views

Seller Tips For Sellers Tips For Buyers The Importance of Consent

Before I make my point and read any further please read and familiarise yourself with the story below regarding the ‘cup of tea and consent’ which was prompted by Thames Valley Police.

*If you're still struggling with consent, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you're making the person a cup of tea. You say, "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?" And they go, "Oh, my God, I would love a cup of tea. Thank you." Then you know they want a cup of tea. If you say, "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?" And they're like, "No, um, you know, I'm not really sure." Then you could make the a cup of tea or not, but, be aware, they might not drink it. And if they don't drink it, then, and this is the important part, don't make them drink it. Just because you made it doesn't mean you are entitled to watch them drink it. And if they say, "No, thank you," then don't make them tea at all. Just don't make them tea. Don't make them drink tea. Don't get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don't want tea, OK?

They might say, "Yes, please, that's kind of you." And then when the tea arrives, they actually don't want the tea at all. Sure, that's kind of annoying as you've gone all the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, but now they don't. Some people change their minds in the time that it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea, and add the milk. And it's OK for people to change their minds. And you are still not entitled to watch them drink it. And if they're unconscious, don't make them tea. Unconscious people don't want tea and they can't answer the question, "Do you want tea?" because they're unconscious.

Maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea and they said, "Yes." But in the time it took you to boil the kettle, brew the tea, and add the milk, they are now unconscious. You should just put the tea down. Make sure the unconscious person is safe. And this is the important part, again, don't make them drink the tea. They said yes then, sure, but unconscious people don't want tea. If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it, and then passed out before they'd finished it, don't keep on pouring it down their throat. Take the tea away. Make sure they're safe because unconscious people don't want tea. Trust me on this.

If someone said yes to tea around your house last Saturday, that doesn't mean they want you to make them tea all the time. They don't want you to come around to their place unexpectedly, and make them tea, and force them to drink it, going "but you want a tea last week" or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat, going "but you wanted tea last night."

Now go back and re-read it all in terms of sex. If you can understand and appreciate how ridiculous it is to force someone to drink a cup of tea, then you should be able to understand how that is the same as understanding it when it comes to sex.

I feel it’s important to realise that this applies to the same with online content and the concept should be therefore applied.

For example, if someone asks for a custom video, you say yes, but whilst making it you decide you don’t feel comfortable, you are allowed to say no, make that refund and explain how you feel…and be respected and understood for it

If one of the buyers suddenly starts giving off bad vibes, you can change your mind, you can say no.

This works the other way round, as a buyer, if you make a request then decide this isn’t something you want or you get the wrong vibes from the seller, you can change your mind before content is sent over. And the seller should be respectful and understanding of this.

Again, with the pressures of showing face. You do not need to show face if you are not comfortable, and you shouldn’t feel pressured into doing something you are not comfortable with.

Remember you have the power!

No one should ever feel pressured to do something they are not comfortable with, and you have the power to say no and change your mind.

If the other person is not respectful of them and doesn’t understand then that is more of a show of their character. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical sex, content, sexting, showing face etc, the same concept applies.

This is something I have personally had experience with on here, I have done a refund and spoke to buyers due to feeling uncomfortable with what I was doing, even though I originally said yes.

This was because at that moment in time I thought I would be okay with it, but actually doing it was a different matter. I was lucky that the buyers appreciated how I felt and we were able to come up with something else between us.

I have also had an experience with a particular buyer wanting me to show face, after I explained I wasn’t comfortable with this, I was then met with comments such as ‘are you sure, as I could spend lots on you if you did’ and ‘you're really missing out on me if you don’t’.

I was then met with this feeling of pressure but I stood my ground and stuck with what I was comfortable with. Because I have the power, I am in control.

Know your worth

Remember you have the power

It’s your decision

I hope you all enjoyed reading this and agree with my points

MrsAllfeet

By Hayles

Hey, I’m Hayles! She/her, 🌈 friendly, Bisexual Come discover what i have to offer. Let me tease you! #ATWHotties2024 Top 0.1% 19th November 2023 Top 1% 3rd November 2023 Top 5% 1st November...

View Profile >

Interested in contributing to our awesome community blog? Why not get in touch with our friendly team?