Use that Block Button!

Seller Sellers’ Perspective

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The block button has such a bad rep. We’ve all seen the posts from buyers and sellers alike about being blocked, wondering why it happened, questioning the remaining community what they did wrong. Or we find there are comments on posts that we can’t see, or stumble onto a profile that has the red ribbon across the bottom that says you’ve either blocked or been blocked by this person. I, too, have experienced the “ouch” feeling that comes with finding I've been blocked by someone I didn't think I had an issue with.

It doesn't have to be a personal, or even negative thing. What if we challenge our perception of the block button, and use it more as a means to manage our feed for our emotional well-being?

The Obvious:

Harassment

In my opinion, this is the most common "reason" to block other members. Unfortunately, there are members who continue to message you after you ask them not to, pressure to buy or sell something you don’t want, or comment the same generic comment on your every post. Maybe they feel creepy to you, maybe they continue to lurk on your page, and leave you on read when you try to engage. If you feel as though someone is harassing you, please (report and) block them! (Please remember, when it comes to protecting yourself and your own mental health, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. “No” is a complete sentence! Your safety and wellbeing are most important).

Copycats

Listen, I know imitation is a form of flattery or whatever. When I see someone using a graphic I made, an idea I came up with, or copy and pasting my posts or descriptions, it’s hurtful! I love the creativity on ATW almost as much as the other components, so for someone to steal my work is deeply offensive. There have been sellers that I’ve approached who were apologetic and took their (my!) item down when I requested, which is best case scenario. However, you may choose to keep someone off your page (or go private!) to minimize copying.

It’s Not You, It’s Me!

We all come from different walks of life, having had different experiences. While what we don’t want to see varies from person to person, I’d guess we all have something we’d rather not see when we log in. You don’t need a “good enough” reason, you can decide you just don’t want to! Here's some stuff I don't want to see!

• Uncensored Pics! For me personally this is bothersome because of the consent aspect. Consent is not just sexy, it’s necessary. Because lips and nips and dicks are not allowed to be posted uncensored, it’s reasonable to expect that I don’t see them (unless I’ve agreed!). Maybe some are willing to post an uncensored butthole pic for attention that may or may not lead to a sale, or push the limits of what “counts” as censoring (can we add taints to the “no” list? Please and thanks!) but you don’t have to keep seeing it on your feed if you don’t want to.
• Pricing! A hot-button issue that impacts all of us. I’m of the belief that when we compete for sales, we drive prices down, which hurts all of us. You know you sellers are hot as fuck, right? And that you wearing an item increases its value? Food for thought.
• Spam! Logically I get it – the dash moves fast, so if you want your post to be seen by a wider audience, you post it again. And again. And again. And again, so many more times. As a seller, I can respect the hustle, but as a human who scrolls the dash too many times per day, it gets annoying to see the same exact post repeatedly. *Reminding* about sales or photo competition “likes” (guilty!). Or, even worse, the dreaded “I’m bored” posts. No thank you.
• Kinking Irresponsibly! Unfortunately, not everyone who joins kink and/or fetish sites has the knowledge (or even worse, desire) to play in a way that is safe, sane, and consensual. This is a topic that deserves its own detailed blog, so to keep it short, bullying someone who has not consented, or requesting/providing a service that appears to be harmful is not something that is fun for me. Every human deserves to be treated with respect and bragging about how cruel you are does not make you cool.
• Triggers! Because of our individual histories, we may get triggered by something we see. This can be a really vulnerable space! What about someone who looks/talks/acts like someone we know IRL? How about someone who overshares on the dash about their personal struggles? Something that pushes our insecurity buttons, or brings up our complicated history with drugs/alcohol, or self-injury, or abuse, or age, sexuality, gender, race, religion, violence, mommy/daddy “issues” … You can choose not to see it.

Unblocking

Remember that the block button isn’t permanent. In a lot of cases, you can change your mind and hit the “unblock” before anyone is the wiser. The connections we make here can be deep and meaningful and can have some pretty unique challenges. You are in charge of your own happiness, and your own wellbeing! Whatever decision you choose, manage your feed to keep ATW fun, sexy, and healthy for yourself.

If you find that you’re blocked by someone, that’s okay too. It can sting a little, but try not to take it to heart! You never know what someone else is dealing with. When you’re happy with how you’re conducting yourself and you’re not breaking the rules (or law!), then chalk it up to them dealing with their own “stuff”. One individual isn’t going to determine your success.

And if you have me blocked, I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself! ?

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