How Doing Sex Work Has Helped Me Reclaim My Sexual Trauma

Areola_Borealis By Areola_Borealis 203 views

How Doing Sex Work Has Helped Me Reclaim My Sexual Trauma

Trigger Warning - Sexual Assault

Before

In my early to mid-twenties I was living in a college town known for its rambunctious behavior. During that time, I was very sexually open and had multiple casual relationships and encounters.

When I was about 23 years old, I met someone who had grown up locally but had since moved away to a prominent city in another state. He was back visiting and asked me if I’d go out on a date with him. I agreed and leading up to our date he asked me what is into sexually and I mentioned that I enjoyed bondage.

Being a BDSM enthusiast himself, he took very kindly to this information. When the day of our date came, I was nervous. I had always had positive experiences experimenting with BDSM so I thought my date with him would be the same.

As the date progressed, it became more and more clear that this person was out for one thing: to not only dominate but destroy.

When it came time for sex, there was never a safe word established - he just went for it. During, I was saying “no” and “stop” but that only motivated him more. He desecrated every entry point in my body. The next day, I had bruises all over my body including my neck and thighs. I never reported the assault but was hospitalized soon after for an infection caused by it.

During

For the time to come, I struggled with PTSD symptoms. I was enduring flashbacks, nightmares, and dissociation. I would have an anxiety attack if I watched or read something triggering and the symptoms were debilitating.

After doing a bout of EMDR therapy, I finally reprocessed the trauma and healed from the incident as much as I could. Even though I had worked so hard in therapy and reprocessed the trauma as much as I could, I still felt my number one regret in the situation which was never reporting it.

Despite it being several years later, I eventually reported the assault and went through the criminal justice system. My case was never taken to trial or prosecuted but I was grateful that I had least reported it.

After

After that, I started doing sex work. I started on a content platform and then went to All Things Worn to start selling content and worn goods. Being on All Things Worn and other sex work platforms have empowered me beyond belief.

I am now in control of my sexuality and write my own script for it. Feeling victimized and out of control of it for so long made me engage in dangerous and impulsive behaviors.

Through platforms like All Things Worn, I have found a safe place to reclaim myself and my identity. Personally, I have found the more domineering side of my personality which has restored my self-confidence and self-esteem.

For most of my life, I was always assumed to be a submissive female in a sexual dynamic. Now that I am connecting with more people in the kink world, I have found an audience of those who want me to be a domme.

This was a very exciting adventure for me and I soon felt like a natural dominatrix. It was a part of my personality that was on the back burner and hiding for so long and now I had a safe place to explore that side of myself.

Now

A big misconception of sexual assault survivors is that we are not sex-positive. That couldn't be further from the truth. Speaking for myself, even though I am a survivor of sexual abuse, I still have my own kinks and sexual drive despite the PTSD.

One of my main kinks is public play and being an exhibitionist. I am still a sexually open individual and have a serious kinky side to myself. It also gets me off knowing other people get off to me.

This is where platforms like All Things Worn have really aided in that validation. Just because I had this awful experience, doesn’t mean I can’t have really fulfilling ones in the future. I have found power, control, and satisfaction since doing sex work.

The most important thing I have learned and gained from it is establishing boundaries and consent which are two things I struggled with understanding and implementing for most of my life.

Now, whenever someone comes to me interested in BDSM I always have a conversation with them first about what the guidelines of the relationship are going to be and agree on a safe word.

My number one priority in doing sex work is that all parties are happy and satisfied. This includes having those less sexy and possibly uncomfortable conversations about personal rules and regulations, but in the end, they really pay off. Because overall, Consent Is Sexy!


By Areola_Borealis

Thick/Curvy Pans**ual Dom/Sub Switch Exhibitionist Naughty Teacher 😍 Some things about me: ❤️ I go above and beyond for my customers!!! 🧡 Non Smoker 💛 I drink fluids all day long everyday and...

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Comments

Areola_Borealis I really felt inclined to share my story with everyone because of how safe and open minded this community is! Thank you all 💜

Sarahs_wetpanties_13 Thank you for sharing your story! I'm super proud of you! And specially for reporting, that is one tough cookie! I hope you are great!

Areola_Borealis I'm overwhelmed by your support 💜

Areola_Borealis Thank you everyone!

BustyPeachDelightsx Thanks for sharing xx

TheDirtyStitch Off to read this now but had to drop in first and say that your user name is perfection 👌🏻

Mimsy This was really open and so positive, thank you for sharing 🤍

Flarity @Smellycat59 Have to thank you for your thoughtful, sound and very accurate response on a blog about such a delicate matter. Since I know a bit about these situations, I know that what you wrote are both important and, in a way, necessary steps in the process of dealing with it. Very brave of you to share with such honesty Areola_Borealis. Speaks volumes about the fortitude of your character; try not to forget that even in unavoidable difficult times

Charlottesused Can I just say I really love your username!.

Jazzlynsparkle This is a wonderfully written expo on your growth. So empowering!

Smellycat59 Great article. But I have one suggestion: you have reclaimed your sexuality not reclaimed your sexual trauma. Like I said, just a suggestion 😊 This is very well written, open and honest. It's sometimes hard to do that. I know because I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Good for you for doing the hard work. My life is so much better at 60 than it was when I was 20. You might want to check in with a therapist every few years. I have done that because as you grow, you have a different perspective on yourself and life and you may have new questions or feelings you might want to explore. Take care, honey ❤️

CheekiesTheBBW Wow! So sorry you had to endure this but look at you all sexy and overcoming the trauma! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


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