The Importance of AfterCare: Dominant & Submissive Cheat Code

Seller BDSM Tips For Sellers Sellers’ Perspective

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After care comes in all different degrees, just like sex, kinks, and overall experience. It's important for everyone, in some way for all degrees of BDSM play.

As we experience more things, it can feel intense, euphoric and even overwhelming. You could be 100% excited and ready to do "what you have been planning" and after the deed. There are so many emotions that you would never expect. For Dom/Sub Relationships, it is so Important to talk about aftercare. You never want to be left in a position to not try something else or continue to enjoy because of a feeling you weren't expecting, this varies for everyone but some examples can feel like but not limited to; "regret", "emptiness", "unexplained sadness".

It is primarily the dominant's role to establish a safe place for their submissive. Doing this includes - establishing boundaries, asking & keeping to all agreed “Hard No's”, choosing a “Safe Word”, & communication about healthy aftercare. Aftercare can and is different for most people, everyone has different needs.

As a Dominant I always respect my subs, and providing aftercare builds a necessary bond. When someone is able to submit and give up control, it is our duty to help the chemicals and body regulate back to a normal state in a positive and healthy way. Especially after scenes that are extra rough, humiliating, ultimately, anything that puts the sub in a vulnerable place. Intense emotions, intense sensations to the body and mind, do not just go away because "one person is done".

Understanding the importance of aftercare is very important before stepping into any Dominant & Submissive "play time", "Scene"/"Relationship". As it is more common for the Dom to bring up and establish certain rules and rituals, it should be of shared importance. This is a set aside safe time and place for both the sub and Dom to have open communication, talk about how certain scenes made you feel. And see how the bond blossoms. Pleasure will reach a new level for you both.

If your Dom hasn't spoken to you about after care. Bring it up. See how they react, print out some research or send screenshots of things that stick out to you & attach a link to Real Facts and bring it to your Dominant.

Dynamic's continue to provide each other pleasure when there is a safe place to unwind. Preventing "Bottom Drop" setting aside time to decompress.

Adrenaline and vulnerability make a chemical reaction during extremely high intense sessions or scenes. The brain releases a powerful mix of chemicals, including endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and cortisol. That is why you crave it, that's why you want more. It is a sexual high! And what a great one! But to every high there's a come down that's "the Drop". It can make you feel a variety of emotions like confused, anxious, depressed, overwhelming exhaustion, some people less some more.

There are so many different ways to provide aftercare. A big one is physical touch, hugging, petting, rubbing, brushing the other's hair, holding hands, all of this touching releases oxytocin. Others are nourishment, I always make sure my Subbie takes a drink before I do. Bringing them their favorite drinks, snacks, cuddle thing or fuzzy blanket, to dress in clean clothes and make themselves comfortable. Aftercare is different for everyone and that is ok. Ask for what you need after so you can continue to build a stronger bond and experience even more pleasure.

If there was a road map to avoid future problems, a cheat code to life almost, wouldn't you use it?

If you have never heard of any of this before and you are into BDSM, please research it. This is a tiny Sexual Road Map. That could really help a lot of people. It is No one's Fault, if you have never heard of this before, but after reading if something resonates with you please do your research. I promise it will help you to Come back Easier, Stay Longer, Try More and New things.

I am not a doctor, I am just a nerd who has a passion for being the Best Dominant/Submissive that I can be. I am a 100% bullseye 50/50 switch. This is depending on the gender of my partner. So I experience both ends of After Care. And it makes me feel happy to provide it. I look forward to quenching that thirst with the cup in hand, putting on a robe, lighting that smoke, covering with blankets and having a talk, and taking a deep breath together, both of our heart rates are safely returning to a healthy pace. It is Peaceful and Comforting.

And when I am receiving Aftercare there is nothing that I crave for and appreciate more. Personally I get very emotional and my Dom knows how to help the chemicals safely bubble down because my sessions get wilddddddd! Enjoying the Euphoric Sexual High, and Enjoying the Tranquil Cum down literally!

I provide aftercare digitally differently & some people do need it. I see that it helps build a bridge. When safety & communication is established, it helps buyers feel more comfortable to come back easier, and more frequently.

Right after a heavy session I never want anyone to feel alone. If that means having a chat about something they like/hobby dump. Reminding them and asking them to get a drink and something to eat and show me a picture or stay on video chat with me until they do. Encouraging them to get a piece of my clothing to snuggle, remembering to use the restroom, sending a picture I know they would enjoy, playing a video game together, it's just creating a safe place. It is meaningful. And not spoken about enough it is ok to ask if your Dom provides after care as an add on. Always feel free to ask me more about aftercare.

This is the first blog I've ever written. I've been on All Things Worn for a few years. I have always been nervous that no one would read it. I am glad I did and I am glad I shared something that I am passionate about and even if it helps one person, then I am happy that I did.

If you have been thinking about writing a blog but haven't done it! This is a great community and this is a safe place to express ourselves. Together as a community we have to look out for one another and creating a safe place is always a good place to start.

Drop a Comment and add other suggestions of after care that resonate with you.

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