How to Avoid Bad Seller Experiences as a Buyer

NekoSadomasochist By NekoSadomasochist 3884 views

Seller Tips For Buyers
How to Avoid Bad Seller Experiences as a Buyer

There are many useful blogs sellers have written for each other here. Some to help sellers see red flags from buyers. However, I've noticed that buyers keep running into problems with sellers and there's not really much advice out there for them. I've decided to take it upon myself to write this blog to help these buyers out, with the help of some other members.

Basic things to look for to give more of a guarantee that the seller is genuine are good reviews, being ID verified and putting effort into their work. You do have to keep in mind though that even with these, things can still go wrong.

What Red Flags Do I Look For?

One of the first things that comes to mind would be if the seller is brand new and lists things very cheap or very high or doesn't put much effort into listings. This usually means this person is new to selling and is uneducated. However, there are many resources out there to research this beforehand and in my experience, a lot of these sellers will refuse to listen.

The best thing you can do is proceed with caution. See how they do on the platform for a while first, see how they handle constructive criticism. If they don't improve, chances are that they see this as a quick cash grab and won't put in the effort to make good products and may even scam you. They will likely also have a more pushy approach.


Respect is incredibly important both ways. If there's pushiness with sales or anything that makes you uncomfortable, including kinks, communicate that. If they're not willing to change their behaviour, then it's time to block, report and find somebody else. Consent is important for all, which leads me onto my next point.


Look Out for Fake Doms.

Fake Doms are people that claim to be Doms but don't practice BDSM ethically, don't really know much about it and/or use their position as a Dom to excuse or justify things that make you uncomfortable.

In a D/s dynamic, you are equals. You both get to express your interests, your boundaries, your hard and soft limits. You both get to give or not give consent. If a self proclaimed Dom tells you otherwise, that's a big red flag.

Some examples of stuff they may say can be: "A real sub would be okay with this", "subs don't get to decide what to do", "I'm a Dom, do as I say". All of these being said without prior consent to them being used in a scene or session is not okay. The same thing goes for pet names and honourifics you never agreed to.

You shouldn't feel pressured into anything and being a Dom is not an excuse to make you feel that way. There are many more resources online on watching out for fake Doms, not just on sites like this but in general that I highly recommend looking into as I'm still a beginner in BDSM myself.


Ghosting seems to be a common one. If a seller is ignoring your messages whilst setting up or discussing your order for a long time, a few days or more, no matter how many you send. This often seems to happen when a buyer is being scammed. Leaving the buyer on read for days has also happened sometimes in this situation. Both do not look great on the seller's part. They've essentially just taken your money and ran. They're not really bothered about the work, they just want a quick cash grab unfortunately and are not above scamming.

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