How to Protect Your Time as a Fetish Seller

Kinks_and_curves By Kinks_and_curves 763 views

Seller Tips For Sellers
How to Protect Your Time as a Fetish Seller

Remember it’s yours!

Your time is yours to give, you get to decide how it’s spent and how much of it you give away. As sellers we must learn how to protect it and use it where it’s best spent. It’s not always an easy task to decide who gets our time, it’s not always as simple as because they are paying for it or because they are a buyer, those aren’t automatic passes that entitle someone to our time.

Why is it important to protect your time?

We are all here for different reasons and have lives outside of this, protecting our time isn’t just a cost / money issue it’s a personal thing.

I need to ensure any time taken out my personal life and personal time is worth it, if I’m giving up time socialising or time away from other non-site related activities then it has to be spent wisely.

Yes, I understand it’s part of selling but I like everyone else here am entitled to a personal life.

It’s also about striking a healthy balance, I’m responsible for that time and need to ensure my time on site is managed well enough to keep enjoying it. It can easily become engrossing if we allow it so we must step away sometimes and take a breather.

Now when we are talking about it from a monetary point of view protecting our time becomes something different and I’ll cover that in more detail but essentially, we have to ensure our time is spent wisely and on those who are deserving of it.

Time is money

A very true saying! Our time is money so again another reason it’s important to protect it.

Before I delve much further into this portion of the blog, I think it would be nice to thank the buyers who do respect us and our time, because plenty do and it’s important we recognise and continually recognise the good buyers.

Anyway, I digress! Ultimately (and I’m speaking personally here) it’s up to us as sellers to decide how much time we give. We give away as much time as we allow ourselves to. If I can tell it’s going nowhere or I’m being lead on I’ll walk away, my time is better spent on other things, buyers who are interested, listings, photos or whatever it may be.

Even after all my time selling, I still can struggle with knowing when something should be paid for, why? Because not every buyer thinks the way I do.

For example, I may stop a conversation going any further because I believe it’s becoming kink chat or in danger of becoming free material, while some would agree others won’t and that’s absolutely fine of course but ultimately that’s my line to draw because it’s my time.

I like a good chat, but I won’t give away to one buyer what I would charge another for.

When should we charge for our time?

So again, there will be a difference of opinion on this but personally speaking I break it down to (as I said above) when it’s becoming kink chat, but how is that defined? Well, I’d say when someone will get off to it.

Other factors such as how detailed and in depth the chat or the answers may be. I am happy to answer questions, but I think it’s helpful to draw a line and when someone is close to it or close to crossing it, we politely (and I can’t stress the politely part hard enough) mention a tip or setting up a session.

Everyone’s definition of kink chat is different, so let’s for example say a buyer asks if I can do a wear and if I can make the wear creamy I see that as a perfectly reasonable question, after all they are trying to establish if I can help , it’s when they want more personal and detailed information I have to ask myself is this heading in the right direction.


I won’t indulge bait, part of me protecting my time, effort and ideas as a seller is saving the good stuff for those who pay!

How do you spot bait? I tend to find its similar patterns.

What would you do if?

If you owned me, what would you make me do?

Message me / approach me in a dominant way (name calling straight away and such).

It’s generally considered a post, poll or bio to grab attention and get as many comments indulging them as possible. They are best ignored.

Protecting your time as a buyer

Buyers your time is valuable as well, I appreciate you get overwhelmed with offers and messages and that it can be time consuming to say no, reply to them all whilst trying to find what you want and hold conversations with sellers that can potentially help.

This is why being upfront and giving details in posts and filling out your bio massively helps you and us as sellers.

Being vague or having no details is just costing unnecessary time for all involved.

For example, if you post saying that you want sexting that is something I offer, I will check out your bio and if it’s blank, I will message or comment on the post. I may not be what you’re looking for and of course that’s absolutely fine but it would be one less message to deal with your end if you have some details.

Things that are helpful to include are any preferences such as age or body type, if you want to be messaged first or want us to comment and you view our bios. In regard to profiles, it helps to have things like (again) preferences, payment, methods, if you prefer to message or be messaged first.

I know it’s frustrating when people don’t read stuff but for those of us who do it’s helpful and we appreciate it.

Community input

I asked for some quotes and input from the community to add to this blog.

“I find that a lot of buyers want to "have a connection" to the seller and that's great but expecting daily messaging for weeks on end for a pair of knickers is just not viable. It is time consuming.”

“As a buyer I’ve been as methodical as I can be in bio and blogs as to how much I value seller's and their time, and that's not born ONLY out of respect and gratitude for what you all do but being self-employed myself and nature of being a taxi driver I have utmost empathy for not only the guts it takes to bet on yourself but also the mental gymnastics of dealing with people and the sacrifice of that needs to be recognised and rewarded!

I'd urge you all to recognise when a conversation is going nowhere, if you hit it off with someone but it looks to be going nowhere business wise, nothing wrong with continuing to chat with someone if you wish to but it's on you, don't lash out at someone after the event, you could've nipped conversation in the bud anytime!

I'm very cognizant of fact I’m open book and directly blunt which is part of reason I’m not the most approachable straight away, I’ve had to work on it and if someone comes to me with flirting and it leads to kink talk I for the most part nip it in the bud early if I can't buy there and then but still have my lapses and will sometimes get carried away, especially after a drink, I totally own that but you as seller also need to own the ability to catch yourself, who you're chatting with [ could be me ] or both of you and nip in the bud until another time when order can be organised!”

“Because I’m a Mum during the day, if I take 2 seconds to reply to someone before 6pm it is literally giving up my ten seconds of peace I somehow managed to find and equally if I make content or reply to messages after 6pm I’m then giving up my well-earned ‘human time’ as I like to call it. If I feel like someone is wasting my time / doesn’t value my conversation enough to tip me then I will gradually faze them off. I wouldn’t expect them to go to work for free so why would I do the same?”

By Kinks_and_curves

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Haleylynn so well put as a mom of two!

Mmmel666 Love this blog! Really good advice about ignoring *those* polls/posts honestly

Kinks_and_curves Thank you everyone

Collegegirllee Enjoyed reading this !! 🖤

MidnightSecrets Great article!

SuccyfuccyfeetwithMolly Thank you writing such a well written blog! And for acknowledging that everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to daily conversations and making connections vs free kinky chat. Like others have said: everything you wrote is so incredibly true!

Kinks_and_curves Thank you for all the love

Smellycat59 Great tips. I always love your informative, "food for thought" blogs.

SashaStar382 Every word so true!! ❤️❤️

Kinks_and_curves Thank you all ♥️

Mistress_Violet Thank you for taking time to create this blog. I find it difficult to gage tw and when to just be firm! I find myself loosing sales or subs that contact me and buy from others. Even after being on here for a year now I still struggle daily with how to approach those that come into my inbox 🙃

MistressAnna Thank you interesting reading 👏 😉

ArchQueen1 Damn I ruined the 69 hearts but had to like it. You’re so supportive writing all these blogs xx

BlondeBritney30 This is great 👌

Aura Awww yay this one is finally on! Love it 💋

MarieRose Lovely blog!! Love it so much

Tuesday05 Great read!!

LeeTheBoneRanger Awesome and helpful as always Kinks Xx

EnglishRoze Really interesting read. Thank you sexy xx

MistressPleasureAndPain Love it, great blog 😘

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