No Means No… But What If I Offered You $50?

Seller Tips For Sellers
No Means No… But What If I Offered You $50?

Hi! My name is Helena (@helenaaxo), and I’ve been on ATW for almost 2 months now. In this short time, I’ve become a top seller and gathered tens of five-star reviews, close to a hundred transactions, and thousands in profit. How did I do this? Short answer: by saying no. I hope you’ll continue reading and find out where I’m coming from.

Picture this. It’s a weekend, you’re enjoying a personal shopping day, and you’re dressed in sweats and a pair of Nikes. As you pass the Nike store, a salesperson emerges and asks you about the pair you are wearing. You and the salesperson then strike up a random, but pleasant, conversation about your shoes. After a few minutes, the salesperson asks, “Hey, is it okay if I take a picture of your Nikes?”

You’re a bit taken aback, but you think why not? The salesperson uses his iPhone to snap a photo of your beloved kicks. You think the salesperson is done, but then he says, “Would you mind if I took a video of you jogging in your Nikes? Nothing complicated – just for a minute or so.” This is a strange request. “What is this for?” You ask. “It’s just for me – I like how these shoes look in action.” You’re a bit flustered. You thought the salesperson was filming for the store, but it was actually just for his pleasure.

Seeing that the salesperson has been nice, and you don’t mind the momentary spotlight, you hesitantly start jogging in place. Suddenly, you notice that the salesperson has panned the camera to show your face. You instinctively throw your hand between the camera and your face, and say, “Whoa, I don’t want my face to be in there.” “Why not?” He asks. “I don’t know; I just feel uncomfortable in front of the camera. Also, I have no idea what you could be using this video for, and what if this turns into a marketing scheme, or worse, blackmail?” You start to turn away after what has now been an unsettling encounter.

“Wait!” The salesperson says. You turn around. “What if I gave you $50 for it?” $50 to jog in place for a minute? You find yourself starting to reconsider.

You might have already picked up on where I was going with this “hypothetical” scenario. Yes; it shouldn’t surprise you that interactions like this occur frequently on ATW when a buyer requests something that a seller is unfamiliar and/or uncomfortable with.

Specifically, there are quite a few sellers on ATW who are willing to fulfil an array of requests solely as long as they are not showing their face in their content. This choice is made for a variety of reasons and is not a choice that sellers should be expected to justify.

Unfortunately, that condition is not always received well, which can cause pressure for the seller to make adjustments to their policy of what they are willing to reveal.

You’d be surprised what people will do for money that they wouldn’t do for love

I read a quote recently that says, “You’d be surprised what people will do for money that they wouldn’t do for love” (Rachel Caine). The power that money holds never fails to amaze me. When money is brought into the picture, one considers what they have, what they don’t have, and most importantly, what they could have with just one extra check.

Yet oftentimes when we begin to think about what we can gain with money, we lose sight of what we might actually be losing.

A fellow seller on ATW and I had a conversation recently that inspired this thought. A buyer had requested a custom video in which the seller would stand in front of the camera and move her breasts around. The task seemed easy enough until the buyer requested that she include her face. This is how our conversation went.

ATW Seller: “I’ve been avoiding filming… I don’t know why… but I know I have to… all I have to do is stand in front of the camera and move my boobs around and I’ll get paid… how easy is that?”

Me: “Girl, it’s not that much money. If you don’t wanna show your face, then don’t.”

ATW Seller: “Should I charge for face?”

Me: “Do you even want to show your face?”

ATW Seller: “You’re right. I don’t want to.”

Me: “Then don’t do it.”

ATW Seller: “I told him. Thank you. I was wondering what was holding me back.”

Comfort, safety and control

The ATW seller’s eyes were so fixed on the potential for monetary gain that she wasn’t able to identify what was being lost: her sense of comfort, safety, and control. Truth is, it doesn’t matter how much money you’re offered; these three things are more valuable and precious than any promise of cash.

The way I see it, there are hundreds of sellers in the market with unique services and levels of comfort. If you don’t want to ship a certain product, someone else will. And if someone doesn’t prefer your specific scent, someone else will. You’ll never truly “lose” by standing firm in the boundaries you’ve set for yourself. So don’t settle. Don’t compromise. Don’t push your body past limits that will lead to more harm than good.

The importance of consent

Now, let’s talk about consent: a fundamental topic in this business. Consent is not only the process of saying “no”, but also having that “no” be honored. Both buyers and sellers find themselves in challenging predicaments, and consent is equally as valid for the seller as it is for the buyer.

So how do we re-wire our brains to understand that “no” does not need to carry a negative connotation, and that “no” should be a concept worth respecting?

Here’s what I think.

Sellers, saying “no” on ATW can mean saying “yes” to…

  • Nurturing and protecting ourselves as humans first, not sex machines
  • Contributing to the sustainability of our work; preventing burnout
  • Establishing and solidifying professional boundaries as a seller
  • Better quality services for better quality buyers

Buyers, saying “no” can mean saying “yes” to…

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