Top 3 Things I’ve Learned as a First Time Online Domme

Close your eyes and imagine that you are vanilla in almost every way. Imagine being a people-pleaser who lacks the confidence to tell people no. I just described myself… or so I thought. When I joined ATW, I thought I was only going to sell used panties, bras, and socks. Imagine my surprise when I discovered a whole world of kinks, and in the process, I discovered a lot more about myself than I ever knew. I’m Angel (@AngelicBitch), and this is my story about becoming an online Domme for the first time ever.

How did I become an online Domme?

At this point, you might be scratching your head and wondering how on earth this self-proclaimed vanilla woman becomes an online Domme. To be honest, I still ask myself that same question because I would have considered myself a sub. As it turns out, I’m a switch, but I lean more toward dominant than submissive. If you get to see my very bratty submissive side, consider yourself lucky. But I digress… After taking an online BDSM test and seeing that I was a bit dominant, I realized that I wanted to explore that a little.

At this point, I had no idea what I would be getting myself into, and I definitely did not have any expectations. I saw a lot of other sellers posting things about Femdom, Findom, owning sissies, etc., and those things sounded interesting. I wanted to try it, but I had no clue where to start. So, I tried asking a couple people some questions, and only one person actually answered me back. She was very open and honest with me. She pretty much told me that I was not ready to be a Domme based on the questions I asked her. I respected what she had to say and agreed that I needed to do my homework before I jumped in feet first. But the funny thing about plans is that they never really work out how you want them to.

As luck would have it, I met someone who was willing to take a chance on me and let me be their Domme. With a little help and A LOT of research, I ventured into my first experience as a Domme. The experience was so exhilarating. I never knew that having someone under my control and doing exactly what I told them to do could be such a turn-on! I was hooked and wanted more. What started as a short-term experience quickly became a long-term arrangement. According to my new sub, I was a natural-born Domme and just what he was looking for.

What I have learned from my experience

In the short time that I have been doing this, I have learned mountains of information. Here are a just a few of the things I’ve learned so far:

• Respecting boundaries is a must
• Communication is key
• Relationship building is vital

Respecting Boundaries

In my opinion, respecting your sub’s boundaries is the most important thing I have learned. Subs live to serve you, and if you don’t respect their boundaries, you can cause a massive amount of trauma. No means no. Create a safe word with your sub and respect it.

Communication

In order to respect your sub’s boundaries, you need to communicate with them. Don’t just jump into a relationship with a sub like it’s some kind of kinky game. There are feelings involved, and people can get hurt if you if you are not careful. Learn their likes, dislikes, boundaries, etc.

Building a relationship

As with any relationship, it’s important to build it up. You wouldn’t date someone and expect the relationship to be all sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows. There will be ups and downs, but that’s natural. If you take the time to get to know your sub and make time for them, you will find that building the relationship comes naturally. It definitely shouldn’t be forced.

Remember – having a sub is not just about making money. It’s about making time in your life for someone who is trusting you to have their best interests in mind.

What do I like about being an online Domme?

Honestly, I love the control. I’ve always been a bit of a type A person. I love having control over the things around me. When I don’t feel like I have control, I tend to freak out a bit. I enjoy the fact that someone is willing to let me control what they do, how they do it, etc. Knowing that the person is doing exactly what I’ve told them to do is quite a turn on.

Where I am today

Fast forward to today, and I have three long-term subs. Each one is very different, and I enjoy my time with all of them.

In my Dominant role, I would describe myself as a Domme, a Mistress, or a Mommy depending on the type of submissive I have. As for the types of subs I have right now, I have a sub, a slave, and a sissy pet, and I take on a different role with each of them. For those wondering what role I take when (more like if) I’m feeling submissive, I’m a whole lot of brat and a little bit of a princess.

I would love to have some short-term experiences with subs, but I’m not opposed to at least one more long-term sub if the right one comes along.

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