How We Can Improve Our Communication on ATW?

I have often noticed a lot of confusion between buyers and sellers. What is the site for? Is it a community? A selling site? How do I talk to people? Who can I talk to? A lot of this is really just due to people expecting each other to just know instead of saying. I think we'd all be a lot less disoriented if we simply communicated more.

What Are You Doing Here?

When it comes to why you're here, you should put that in your bio. This site does have a community page but it is also a selling site. So, can you join because you like to be part of a community? Sure, but you also have to like buying or selling. It is a buyer/seller community. You wouldn't join a sewing/knitting community if you weren't bothered about sewing or knitting, would you?

So, after confirming that you're here to sell or buy, you might be wondering what to include in your bio. For sellers, a description of how you look and your interests is important, along with what you do and don't offer, any important information like personal policies or rules, warnings for any allergies buyers may have (if you have dogs for example) and your prices. For buyers, we do like to know your interests, both for conversation and to know if you'll be interested in what we have to offer. Both sellers and buyers should make sure to fill out the offering/looking for section and the payment methods section. If you can, getting ID-verified is also very important.

What Does ‘Owned” Mean?

Another problem I've seen recently is the topic of owned buyers. It is my understanding that owned refers to a sub that has entered into a D/s dynamic with a Dom that is one of the sellers here. Some owned buyers will visit more sellers' pages despite this which has often confused me. Turns out, owned can mean a variety of things within a dynamic. Some buyers are helpful enough to detail what this entails for them in their bios which is brilliant. Some do not though, which can lead to confusion.

If you are owned, please write in your bio what that means for you. Are you allowed to buy from others? Do they have to go through your Dom first? Do you have to go to your Dom? Will you message us if you're interested? Are you not allowed at all and just here for the community? Another thing that can help is adding owned to your username.

Is This a Job or Hobby?

I also posted some polls to see how sellers and buyers viewed what we do here. The options were between being a job and being a hobby and the results were very mixed. For me, this is a job. I sell items, pics and other services in exchange for money and then we leave reviews afterwards. That describes a job in my eyes. I think if you're just here for a hobby then you're in the wrong place.

There are many kink and fetish communities that aren't centred around selling. Plus, this takes hard work to do well at so if you're just seeing it as a casual hobby, you're not likely to get anywhere. I think a lot of buyers do see sellers as being here casually which is frustrating for those doing it as a job. I think it would be best to include why you're here as a seller in your bio. Is it a job? A part-time or a full-time job? A hobby? Are you bothered about sales? Are you happy to chat? Chat for how long?

Do I Message First or Wait?

The most common discussion I've seen on the dash is how to message. Do we message buyers first? Do we wait for them? I've seen the occasional buyer say in their bio what they prefer but that's normally the buyers that have been here a long time already and by that point, have been overwhelmed with messages. I strongly encourage more buyers to include what they prefer in their bios. Do you like to be messaged first? Should we wait for you?

Can We Just Chat? Do You Want Sales?

I feel like this is a very different question, depending on who is asking it. I am happy to chat with buyers for free. I understand they like to get to know you first and have you get to know them a bit, they like a bit of friendly back and forth which is understandable. This is in an attempt to make a sale though, as I am a seller.

That's the whole point of me being here. I won't nag you to buy after every conversation of course. If it's been a few months with no sale though, then I start to give up. Other sellers may feel differently and don't mind chatting on occasion to just chat. Some don't want to chat at all and only want messages if you're buying now.

Again, I think we need to be clearer about this. Maybe include in bios "I like to chat for fun sometimes, not always to buy" or "I'm happy to chat just to chat, no sale expected" or "just buying/selling, don't message me for chats". Perhaps letting the person know at the start of your conversation could also be helpful?

Expectations

As we are all individuals here, each seller does things differently. Policies, what they offer, shipping, packaging etc. all depend on the individual seller. I've had experiences with buyers where I've been asked to vacuum seal items, even though I don't own a vacuum sealer and I've had buyers ask for tracking numbers, even though they didn't ask for tracked shipping. If there's ever something you'd like, you need to be aware that not every seller does things the same and that it's best to just ask if they haven't already told you that they're doing it. Clear and open communication is the right way forward to making sure what we do here is the best experience for everyone.

Ghosting

Juicyshortcake asks: Why can’t a buyer simply reply that they no longer are interested or they are looking for something else rather than leaving us on read or ghosting?

Leaving people on read or ghosting is just rude and the buyers that do this need to stop and just be clear as you have suggested. I usually get left on read after bringing up payment which tells me they were not serious about purchasing and just wanted to get off on the conversation without me knowing.

Given that I'm being led on in this scenario and having someone ignore my consent, this is also something that buyers shouldn't be doing. It's a shame that the ones that simply lose interest can't just say so though. Make sure you try to tell them that they can just say if they've changed their mind in messages and possibly include it in your bio. Buyers, if you lose interest, please just say so otherwise, you make yourself look like a time waster and that's not fun for anybody.

Are there any more ways to let each other know what we mean? Are there any other topics you're confused about here? Leave them in the comments to discuss....

By NekoSadomasochist

⭐ Kink friendly and all genders welcome ⭐ 💋 Messages are welcome, along with any questions you may have. I'm happy to chat with buyers and get to know eachother first...

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