Kinks VS Fetishes

Hi my beautiful souled kinky people. I am GingerNurse AKA Rachel. I have been with you here at ATW for just under two months now and I’ve had a great time. Being a naturally curious and analytic person, I couldn’t help but do my research. The thing that really grabbed my attention was finding out the difference between kinks and fetishes. I’ve discovered a lot of interesting things along the way and thought I’d use this forum to share this knowledge.

What is a Kink?

Put simply, a Kink is anything which falls slightly beyond what is seen as ‘normal’ by society. Now, the issue comes when we try and explain what ‘normal’ is…

Some people are naturally more exposed and open to sexual experiences, and this is seen as ‘normal’. For example, Germany is considered to be a very liberal country where prostitution is legal, and you can see full nudity on TV at any time. Sex discussions are not considered taboo and there is a much more liberal approach. Hop over to China, and we see a completely different social norm. The Chinese government have imposed strict guidelines on TV shows which promote “abnormal sexual relations or sexual behaviour”. Censors include homosexuality, perversion, depictions of prostitution, one-night stands and any form of sexual freedom.

So back to the kink… if you are a liberal person who has been exposed to the ways of the world, your kink may be considered something a little more niche and ‘out there’, whereas in China, anything aside from marital missionary sex is considered kinky.

What is a fetish?

Kinks and fetishes can be very easily confused because we are talking about scenarios which can fall into both categories. However, the biggest difference comes from the experience of the person… If you are a person who NEEDS the kink to get off, then this is considered a fetish.

Let me give you an example.

If you are really into feet but can get aroused and have sexual experiences that doesn’t involve feet, then this is considered a kink. If on the other hand, you are really into feet and cannot get aroused without some kind of foot play (even if this is in your head without a physical act) then this is a fetish.

If you are reading this now and wondering if you have a fetish, I want you to do a little test and ask yourself the following:

Do I need the thing to become aroused?
Can I finish (cum/orgasm) without the thing being present?
Can I play with myself without the thing being present?

If you have a need for the object or experience, then you have a fetish.

How do fetishes form?

Did you know that the area where your brain controls reactions to your genitals is very close to where it controls the feet? There have been lots of studies completed in the past to try and work out where a fetish comes from, but no single reason can be found.

Most articles though suggest that a fetish is mainly brought on by Classical Conditioning. Think of Pavlov’s dog experiment where he was given food every time a bell rang and was then found to salivate just at the sound of the bell. Now replace this scenario with an object, in this example we will use stiletto. Instead of salivation lets replace that with arousal (and probably still salivation). And there we have classical conditioning.

GingerNurse’s Guide to Kinks and Fetishes that I’d either not heard of before or wanted to educate myself on and I’m bringing you along for the ride!

Being fairly new to the world of Kink and Fetish, I’ve been doing a little reading up and came across an excellent extract from Glamour Magazine. In the section below, I’ve picked out some of the lesser heard of kinks and fetishes to explain what they are. I’m sure some of you already know some if not all of them, but hopefully some of you learn something new about yourself.

AGE PLAY

Now I know most of you know about age play, so probably think this is a strange one to be on the list when you look at what else is on here. I’m sure if you’re anything like me, you think of an adult dressing and acting like a baby. In fact, age play can be where a person or multiple people pretend to be any age other than their own. Did you know you’ve probably dabbled in this too at some point. Have you ever called someone ‘daddy’, ‘baby girl’ or just ‘baby’? If your answer is yes, then you have taken part in light age play! Always remember to set rules and consent when dabbling in age play.

ANILINGUS

Is licking, kissing, or penetrating another person’s anus. I knew this was a thing, I just didn’t realise what it was called!

ABRASION

Being aroused by scratchy surfaces or objects like sandpaper or grit.

ACTIRASTY

Did you know it is possible to become aroused by the weather? Me neither!! Have you ever got a stiffy from the sun shining on you on a warm day or felt that tingle of arousal from a deep rumbling thunderstorm? Have you ever constantly felt the need for outdoor sex every time the sun is out- this could be you too…

CLAUSTROPHILIA

I’m sure loads of you have heard about sex in public and open spaces. Well, this is the complete opposite. Claustrophilia is the feeling of being aroused in a tight and enclosed space. Mile high club anyone?

GERONTOPHILIA

Are you turned on by elderly people? The thing with Gerontophilia is that it is not about having a partner who is much older than you because I’m sure there are other reasons you could have fallen for that person. Gerontophilia is purely about the sexual arousal of someone considered elderly.

KLISMAPHILIA

Have you ever needed or volunteered to have an enema? When you had this, did you become unexpectedly sexually aroused? If yes, you have Klismaphilia 😉

KATOPTRONOPHILIA

Have you ever knocked one off in front of a mirror or kept looking at yourself while doing the nasty? Well, Katoptronophila describes you. Simply put, this is becoming aroused watching yourself in a mirror or shiny surface.

MELOLAGNIA

Have you ever been to a concert and found you have snail trails in your knickers? Or the trouser snake is trying to bust out? Well, you could be experiencing Melolagnia. This is a strong sexual reaction to music. It could be from a voice, beat, general music composition.

NEBULOPHILIA

This has been slightly touched earlier with Actirasty, however is more specific to fog, steam, dry ice, and smoke.

QUIROFILIA

You’ve heard of a foot kink/fetish, but did you know people can have a similar reaction to hands. It makes sense really when you think of all the sexy things that can happen with your hands… massages, tickling, hand jobs.

SPECTROPHILIA

Do you believe in ghosts? Do you believe that ghosts can enter your room, have amazing sex then vanish or do you fantasise about this? If you do, then I bet Halloween is a busy time for you.

STYGIOPHIIA

Who here has been told to go to hell and loved it? This kink/fetish concentrates on the fantasy of facing eternal punishment.

TRICHOPHILIA

Is the touch, smell, and sight of hair the most erotic thing you’re seen. Do you find yourself searching listings for head hair, pubes, armpit, or leg hair. Well, you are experiencing Trichophilia.

UROPHILIA

Now I know lots of you here are into water sports. Congratulations, you are in the urophilia club!

VICARPHILIA

Do you ever listen to interviews or podcasts when someone is talking about their sexual experiences or interests? You could be in the vicarphiliar category!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you like to over-analyse and over-think life like I do, feel free to stop by for a chat.

Stay kind to each other and I hope that from this article you discover some new kinks and fetishes that you want to explore.